I wouldn't worry myself too much if I were you, Basil, old man. BASIL. If you only knew how I despise myself! JOHN. Come, come, Basil, you must make an effort.... BASIL. I've not told you the worst. I feel such a cad. There's one thought that's been with me all night. And I _can't_ drive it away. It's worse than anything else. It's too shameful. JOHN. What _do_ you mean? BASIL. Oh, it's so despicable. And yet it's too strong for me.... I can't help thinking that I'm--free. JOHN. Free? BASIL. It's treachery to her memory. But you don't know what it is when your prison door is opened. [_As he speaks he grows more and more excited._] I don't want to die. I want to live, and I want to take life by both hands and enjoy it. I've got such a desire for happiness. Let's open the windows, and let the sunlight in. [_He goes to the window and flings it open._] It's so good just to be alive. How can I help thinking that now I can start fresh? The slate is wiped clean, and I can begin again. I _will_ be happy. God forgive me, I can't help the thought. I'm free. I made a ghastly mistake, and I suffered for it. Heaven knows how I suffered, and how hard I tried to make the best of it. It wasn't all my fault. In this world we're made to act and think things because other people have thought them good. We never have a chance of going our own way. We're bound down by the prejudices and the morals of everybody else. For God's sake, let us be free. Let us do this and that because we want to and because we must, not because other people think we ought. [_He stops suddenly in front of_ JOHN.] Why don't you say something? You stare at me as if you thought me raving mad! JOHN. I don't know what to say. BASIL. Oh, I suppose you're shocked and scandalised. I ought to go on posing. I ought to act the part decently to the end. _You_ would never have had the courage to do what I did, and yet, because I've failed, you think you can look down on me from the height of your moral elevation. JOHN. [_Gravely._] I was thinking how far a man may fall when he attempts to climb the stars. BASIL. I gave the world fine gold, and their currency is only cowrie-shells. I held up an ideal, and they sneered at me. In this world you must wallow in the trough with the rest of them.... The only moral I can see is that if I'd acted like a blackguard--as ninety-nine men out of a hundred would have done--and let Jenny go to the dogs, I should have remained happy and contented and prosperous. And she, I dare say, wouldn't have died.... It's because I tried to do my duty and act like a gentleman and a man of honour, that all this misery has come about. JOHN.