It's nothing to you. But to me.... Oh, you don't know what agony I endure. I'm such a coward! I thought I was so much braver. ALEC. I don't understand you. LUCY. I wanted to burn my ships behind me. I wanted to reassure myself. [ALEC _makes a slight movement away from her, but she holds him back anxiously_.] Forgive me, dear. You don't know how terrible it is. I stand so dreadfully alone. Every one is convinced that you caused poor George's death--every one but me. [ALEC _looks at her gravely, without speaking_.] I try to put the thoughts out of my head, but I can't--I can't. That letter in the _Times_ looks so dreadfully true. Don't you see what I mean? The uncertainty is more than I can bear. At the first moment I felt so absolutely sure of you. ALEC. And now you don't? LUCY. I trust you just as much as ever. I know it's impossible that you should have done a shameful thing. But there it stands in black and white, and you have nothing to say in answer. ALEC. I know it's very difficult. That is why I asked you to believe in me. LUCY. I do, Alec--with all my soul. But have mercy on me. I'm not so strong as I thought. It's easy for you to stand alone. You're iron, but I'm a weak woman. ALEC. Oh, no, you're not like other women. I was proud of your unconquerable spirit. LUCY. It was easy to be brave where my father was concerned, and George, but you're the man I love, and it's so different. I don't know any more how to stand alone. [ALEC _looks at her, thinking, but does not reply for a moment_. ALEC. Do you remember that only an hour ago I told you that I'd done nothing which I wouldn't do again? I gave you my word of honour that I could reproach myself for nothing. LUCY. Oh, I know. I'm so utterly ashamed of myself. But I can't bear the doubt. ALEC. Doubt! You've said the word at last. LUCY. I tell every one that I don't believe a word of these horrible charges, and I repeat to myself: I'm certain, I'm certain that he's innocent. And yet at the bottom of my heart there's a doubt, and I can't crush it. ALEC. Is that why you told them we were engaged to be married? LUCY. I wanted to kill that gnawing pain of suspicion. I thought if I stood up before them and cried out that my trust in you was so great, I was willing to marry you notwithstanding everything, I should at least have peace in my own heart. [ALEC _walks up and down. Then he stops in front of_ LUCY. ALEC. What is it precisely you want me to do? LUCY. I want you to have mercy on me because I love you. Don't tell the world if you choose not to, but tell me the truth. I know you're incapable of lying. If I only have it from your own lips I shall believe, I want to be certain, certain! ALEC. Don't you realise that I would never have asked you to marry me if my conscience hadn't been quite clear? Don't you realise that the reasons I have for holding my tongue must be of overwhelming strength? LUCY.