D'you know what I'd do if I were you? Propose to me. MRS. CROWLEY. Oh, I couldn't do anything so immodest. DICK. I have registered a vow that I will never offer my hand and heart to any woman again. MRS. CROWLEY. On the head of your maternal grandmother? DICK. Oh no, far more serious than that. On the grave of my maiden aunt, who left me all my money. MRS. CROWLEY. What will you say if I do? DICK. That depends entirely on how you do it. I may remind you, however, that first you go down on your bended knees. MRS. CROWLEY. Oh, I waived that with you. DICK. And then you confess you're unworthy of me. MRS. CROWLEY. Mr. Lomas, I am a widow. I am twenty-nine and extremely eligible. My maid is a treasure. My dressmaker is charming. I am clever enough to laugh at your jokes, and not so learned as to know where they come from. DICK. Really you're very long-winded. I said it all in four words. MRS. CROWLEY. So could I if I might write it down. DICK. You must say it. MRS. CROWLEY. But what I'm trying to make you understand is that I don't want to marry you a bit. You're just the sort of man who'll beat his wife regularly every Saturday night.... You will say yes if I ask you, won't you? DICK. I've never been able to refuse a woman anything. MRS. CROWLEY. I have no doubt you will after six months of holy matrimony. DICK. I never saw any one make such a fuss about so insignificant a detail as a proposal of marriage. MRS. CROWLEY. Dick. [_She stretches out her hands, smiling, and he takes her in his arms._] You really are a detestable person. DICK. [_With a smile, taking a ring from his pocket._] I bought an engagement ring yesterday on the off chance of its being useful. MRS. CROWLEY. Then you meant to ask me all the time? DICK. Of course I did, you silly. MRS. CROWLEY. Oh, I wish I had known that before. I'd have refused you again. DICK. You absurd creature. [_He kisses her._ MRS. CROWLEY. [_Trying to release herself._] There's somebody coming. DICK. It's only Alec. [ALEC _comes in_. ALEC. Hulloa! DICK. Alec, we've made friends, Mrs. Crowley and I. ALEC. It certainly looks very much like it. DICK. The fact is, I've asked her to marry me, and she.... MRS. CROWLEY. [_Interrupting, with a smile._] After much pressure-- DICK. Has consented. ALEC. I'm so glad. I heartily congratulate you both. I was rather unhappy at leaving Dick, Mrs. Crowley. But now I leave him in your hands, I'm perfectly content. He's the dearest, kindest old chap I've ever known. DICK. Shut up, Alec! Don't play the heavy father, or we shall burst into tears. ALEC. He'll be an admirable husband because he's an admirable friend. MRS. CROWLEY. I know he will. And I'm only prevented from saying all I think of him and how much I love him, by the fear that he'll become perfectly unmanageable. DICK. Spare me these chaste blushes which mantle my youthful brow. Will you pour out the tea ... Nellie?