JOHN. Don't be silly. I shall kiss you if I want to. [_She laughing, walks round the sofa while he pursues her._ MABEL. I wish you'd treat life more seriously. JOHN. I wish you wouldn't wear such prominent hats. MABEL. [_As he puts his arm round her waist._] John, some body'll see us. JOHN. Mabel, I command you to let yourself be kissed. MABEL. How much will you give me? JOHN. Sixpence. MABEL. [_Slipping away from him._] I can't do it for less than half-a-crown. JOHN. [_Laughing._] I'll give you two shillings. MABEL. [_Coaxing._] Make it two-and-three. [_He kisses her._ JOHN. Now come and sit down quietly. MABEL. [_Sitting down by his side._] John, you mustn't make love to me. It would look so odd if they came in. JOHN. After all, I am your husband. MABEL. That's just it. If you wanted to make love to me you ought to have married somebody else. [_He puts his arm round her waist._] John, don't, I'm sure they'll come in. JOHN. I don't care if they do. MABEL. [_Sighing._] John, you do love me? JOHN. Yes. MABEL. And you won't ever care for anybody else? JOHN. No. MABEL. [_In the same tone._] And you will give me that two-and-threepence, won't you? JOHN. Mabel, it was only two shillings. MABEL. Oh, you cheat! JOHN. [_Getting up._] I'm going out on the balcony. I'm passionately devoted to chimney-pots. MABEL. No, John, I want you. JOHN. Why? MABEL. Isn't it enough for me to say I want you for you to hurl yourself at my feet immediately? JOHN. Oh, you poor thing, can't you do without me for two minutes? MABEL. Now you're taking a mean advantage. It's only this particular two minutes that I want you. Come and sit by me like a nice, dear boy. JOHN. Now what have you been doing that you shouldn't? MABEL. [_Laughing._] Nothing. But I want you to do something for me. JOHN. Ha, ha! I thought so. MABEL. It's merely to tie up my shoe. [_She puts out her foot._] JOHN. Is that all--honour bright? MABEL. [_Laughing._] Yes. [JOHN _kneels down_.] JOHN. But, my good girl, it's not undone. MABEL. Then, my good boy, undo it and do it up again. JOHN. [_Starting up._] Mabel, are we playing gooseberry--at our time of life? MABEL. [_Ironically._] Oh, you are clever! Do you think Hilda would have climbed six flights of stairs unless Love had lent her wings? JOHN. I wish Love would provide wings for the chaperons as well. MABEL. Don't be flippant. It's a serious matter. JOHN. My dear girl, you really can't expect me to play the heavy father when we've only been married six months. It would be almost improper. MABEL. Don't be horrid, John. JOHN. It isn't horrid, it's natural history. MABEL. [_Primly._] I was never taught it. It's not thought nice for young girls to know. JOHN. Why didn't you tell me that Hilda was fond of Basil! Does he like her? MABEL. I don't know. I expect that's precisely what she's asking him. JOHN.