_Euph._ Your Fall will then be due to your own Weakness, Sir; for, Heaven's my Witness, I neither endeavour nor wish to wound you. _Esop._ I understand you, Lady; your Heart's already dispos'd of; 'tis seldom otherways, at your Age. _Euph._ My Heart dispos'd of! _Dor._ Nay, never mince the Matter, Madam. The Gentleman looks like a civil Gentleman, e'en confess the Truth to him: He has a good Interest with your Father, and no Doubt will employ it to break the Heathenish Match he proposes to you. [_To ~Esop~._] Yes, Sir, my young Lady has been in love these two Years, and that with as pretty a Fellow as ever entered a Virgin's Heart; tall, strait, young, vigorous, good Clothes, long Perriwig, clean Linen; in brief, he has every thing that's necessary to set a young Lady a-longing, and to stay it when he has done: but her Father, whose Ambition makes him turn Fool in his old Age, comes with a back Stroke upon us, and spoils all our Sport. Wou'd you believe it, Sir? He has propos'd to her to-day the most confounded ugly Fellow! Look, if the very Thoughts of him don't set the poor Thing a-crying! And you, Sir, have so much Power with the old Gentleman, that one Word from you would set us all right again. If he will have her a Wife, in the Name of _Venus_, let him provide her a handsome Husband, and not throw her into the Paws of a Thing, that Nature, in a merry Humour, has made half Man, half Monkey. _Esop._ Pray, what's this Monster's Name, Lady? _Euph._ No matter for his Name, Sir; my Father will know what you mean, at first Word. _Esop._ But you shou'd not always chuse by the Outside alone: believe me, fair Damsel, a fine Perriwig keeps many a Fool's Head from the Weather: Have a Care of your young Gallant. _Dor._ There's no Danger, I have examin'd him; his Inside's as good as his out! I say, he has Wit, and I think I know. _Euph._ Nay, she says true; he's even a Miracle of Wit and Beauty: Did you but see him, you'd be yourself my Rival. _Esop._ Then you are resolv'd against the Monster? _Dor._ Fy, Sir, fy; I wonder you'll put her in Mind of that foul, frightful Thing: We shall have her dream of nothing all Night but Bats and Owls, and Toads and Hedge-hogs; and then we shall have such a squeaking and squalling with her, the whole House will be in an Uproar: Therefore, pray, Sir, name him no more, but use your Interest with her Father, that she may never hear of him again. _Esop._ But if I shou'd be so generous to save you from the old Gallant, what shall I say for your young one? _Euph._ O, Sir, you may venture to enlarge upon his Perfections; you need not fear saying too much in his Praise. _Dor._ And pray, Sir, be as copious upon the Defects of t'other; you need not fear out-running the Text there, neither, say the worst you can. _Euph._ You may say, the first is the most graceful Man that _Asia_ ever brought forth. _Dor._ And you may say the latter is the most deform'd Monster that Copulation ever produc'd.