Nay, I reckon we shall have rare work on't bye and bye. Shield us, kind Heaven! what Things are Men in love? Now they are Stocks and Stones; then they are Fire and Quick-silver; first whining and crying, then swearing and damning: This Moment they are in Love, and next Moment they are out of Love: Ah--cou'd we but live without 'em--but 'tis in vain to think on't. [_Exit._ _Enter ~Esop~ at one side of the Stage, Mrs. ~Forge-will~ at t'other._ _Forg._ Sir, I'm your most devoted Servant! What I say is no Compliment, I do assure you. _Esop._ Madam, as far as you are really mine, I believe I may venture to assure you, I am yours. _Forg._ I suppose, Sir, you know that I'm a Widow. _Esop._ Madam, I don't so much as know you are a Woman. _Forg._ O surprizing! Why, I thought the whole Town had known it. Sir, I have been a Widow this Twelvemonth. _Esop._ If a Body may guess at your Heart by your Petticoat, Lady, you don't design to be so a Twelvemonth more. _Forg._ O bless me! Not a Twelvemonth! Why, my Husband has left me four squalling Brats. Besides, Sir, I'm undone. _Esop._ You seem as chearful an undone Lady as I have met with. _Forg._ Alas, Sir, I have too great a Spirit ever to let Afflictions spoil my Face. Sir, I'll tell you my Condition; and that will lead me to my Business with you. Sir, my Husband was a Scriviner. _Esop._ The deuce he was: I thought he had been a Count, at least. _Forg._ Sir, it is not the first Time I have been taken for a Countess; my Mother us'd to say, as I lay in my Cradle, I had the Air of a Woman of Quality; and truly I have always liv'd like such. My Husband, indeed, had something sneaking in him (as most Husbands have, you know, Sir); but, from the Moment I set Foot in his House, bless me, what a Change was there! His Pewter was turn'd into Silver, his Goloshoes into a Glass Coach, and his little travelling Mare into a Pair of _Flanders_ Horses. Instead of a greasy Cook-maid to wait at Table, I had four tall Footmen in clean Linen; all Things became new and fashionable, and nothing look'd aukward in my Family. My Furniture was the Wonder of my Neighbourhood, and my Clothes the Admiration of the whole Town; I had a Necklace that was envy'd by the Queen, and a Pair of Pendants that set a Dutchess a-crying. In a Word, I saw nothing I lik'd but I bought it; and my Husband, good Man, durst ne'er refuse paying for't. Thus I liv'd, and I flourish'd, till he sicken'd and dy'd: but ere he was cold in his Grave, his Creditors plunder'd my House. But, what pity it was to see Fellows with dirty Shoes come into my best Rooms, and touch my Hangings with their filthy Fingers! You won't blame me, Sir, if, with all my Courage, I weep at this sensible Part of my Misfortune. _Esop._ A very sad Story, truly!