Don _Felix_, a Gentleman of _Valencia_, Capt. _Griffin_. Don _Pedro_, } { Mr. _Wilks_. Don _Guzman_, } Lovers of _Leonora_, { Mr. _Mills_. Don _John_, } { Mr. _Cibber_. _Lopez_, Servant to Don _John_, Mr. _Pinkethman_. _Galindo_, Servant to Don _Guzman_, Mr. _Bullock_. WOMEN. _Leonora_, Daughter to Don _Felix_, Mrs. _Rogers_. _Isabella_, her Friend, and Sister to } _Guzman_, } Mrs. _Kent_. _Jacinta_, Woman to _Leonora_, Mrs. _Oldfield_. +SCENE+, at _Valencia_. [Illustration] THE FALSE FRIEND. [Illustration] +ACT+ I. +SCENE+ I. +SCENE+, _Don ~John~'s Lodgings._ _Enter Don ~John~ beating ~Lopez~._ _Lop._ Hold, Sir, hold; there's enough in all Conscience; I'm reasonable, I ask no more; I'm content. Don _John._ Then there's a double Content, you Dog, and a Brace of Contents more into the Bargain. Now is't well? [_Striking again and again._ _Lop._ O, mighty well, Sir; you'll never mend it; pray leave it as 'tis. Don _John._ Look you, you Jackanapes, if ever I hear an Offer at your impertinent Advice again---- _Lop._ And why, Sir, will you stifle the most useful of my Qualifications? Don _John._ Either, Sirrah, I pass for a very great Blockhead with you, or you are pleas'd to reckon much upon my Patience. _Lop._ Your Patience, Sir, indeed is great: I feel at this Time forty Proofs on't upon my Shoulders: But really, Sir, I wou'd advise you to---- Don _John._ Again! I can bear thee no longer. Here, Pen and Ink, I'll give thee thy Discharge: Did I take you for a Valet, or a Privy-Counsellor, Sir? _Lop._ 'Tis confess'd, Sir, you took me but for humble Employment; but my Intention was agreeably to surprize you with some superior Gifts of Nature, to your faithful Slave. I profess, my noble Master, a most perfect Knowledge of Men and Manners. Yours, gracious Sir, (with all Respect I speak it) are not irreprehensible. And I'm afraid in Time, Sir, I am indeed, they'll riggle you into some ill-favour'd Affair, whence, with all my Understanding, I shall be puzzled to bring you off. Don _John._ Very well, Sir. _Lop._ And therefore, Sir, it is, that I, poor _Lopez_ as I am, sometimes take leave to maralize. Don _John._ Go, go, moralize in the Market-place: I'm quite worn out. Once more, march. _Lop._ Is the Sentence definitive? Don _John._ Positive. _Lop._ Then, pray, let us come to account, and see what Wages are due. Don _John._ Wages! Refund what you have had, you Rascal, you, for the plague you have given me.