Plays, written by Sir John Vanbrugh, volume the firstVanbrugh, John
General
Plays, written by Sir John Vanbrugh, volume the first
Vanbrugh, John
Comedy plays; English drama -- 18th century; English drama -- Restoration, 1660-1700
_Coup._ Come, advance, holy Man! Here's your Duck does not think fit to
retire with you into the Chancel at this time; but she has a Proposal
to make to you in the Face of the Congregation. Come, _Nurse_, speak
for yourself; you are of Age.
_Nurse._ _Roger_, are not you a wicked Man, _Roger_, to set your
Strength against a weak Woman, and persuade her it was no Sin to
conceal Miss's Nuptials? My Conscience flies in my Face for it, thou
Priest of _Baal_; and I find by woful Experience, thy Absolution is not
worth an old Cassock: therefore I am resolved to confess the Truth to
the whole World, tho' I die a Beggar for it. But his Worship overflows
with his Mercy, and his Bounty: He is not only pleas'd to forgive us
our Sins, but designs thou sha't squat thee down in _Fat-goose_ Living;
and, which is more than all, has prevail'd with me to become the Wife
of thy Bosom.
_Young Fash._ All this I intend for you, Doctor. What you are to do for
me, I need not tell you.
_Bull._ Your Worship's Goodness is unspeakable: Yet there is one thing
seems a Point of Conscience; and Conscience is a tender Babe. If I
shou'd bind myself, for the sake of this Living, to marry _Nurse_, and
maintain her afterwards, I doubt it might be look'd on as a kind of
Simony.
_Coup._ [_Rising up._] If it were Sacrilege, the Living's worth it:
Therefore no more Words, good Doctor: but with the [_Giving ~Nurse~ to
him._] Parish----here----take the Parsonage-house. 'Tis true, 'tis a
little out of Repair; some Dilapidations there are to be made good; the
Windows are broke, the Wainscot is warp'd, the Ceilings are peel'd, and
the Walls are crack'd; but a little Glasing, Painting, White-wash, and
Plaster, will make it last thy time.
_Bull._ Well, Sir, if it must be so, I shan't contend: What Providence
orders, I submit to.
_Nurse._ And so do I, with all Humility.
_Coup._ Why, that now was spoke like good People. Come, my
Turtle-Doves, let us go help this poor Pigeon to his wandering Mate
again: and after Institution and Induction, you shall all go a-cooing
together.
[_Exeunt._
_Enter ~Amanda~, in a Scarf, &c. as just returned, her
Woman following her._
_Aman._ Pr'ythee, what care I who has been here?
_Wom._ Madam, 'twas my Lady _Bridle_, and my Lady _Tiptoe_.
_Aman._ My Lady _Fiddle_, and my Lady _Faddle_. What dost stand
troubling me with the Visits of a parcel of impertinent Women? When
they are well seam'd with the Small Pox, they won't be so fond of
shewing their Faces----There are more Coquettes about this Town--
_Wom._ Madam, I suppose, they only came to return your Ladyship's
Visit, according to the Custom of the World.
_Aman._ Wou'd the World were on Fire, and you in the middle on't! Be
gone: leave me.
[_Exit Wom._
_~Amanda~ sola._
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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