_Heart._ I have told her in as plain _English_ as I could speak, both what the Town says of her, and what I think of her. In short, I have us'd her as an absolute King would do _Magna Charta_. _Const._ And how does she take it? _Heart._ As Children do Pills; bite them, but can't swallow them. _Const._ But, pr'ythee, what has put it into your Head, of all Mankind, to turn Reformer? _Heart._ Why one thing was, the Morning hung upon my Hands, I did not know what to do with myself; and another was, that as little as I care for Women, I cou'd not see with Patience one that Heaven had taken such wondrous Pains about, be so very industrious to make herself the Jack-pudding of the Creation. _Const._ Well, now could I almost wish to see my cruel Mistress make the self-same Use of what Heaven has done for her, that so I might be cur'd of a Disease that makes me so very uneasy; for Love, Love is the Devil, _Heartfree_. _Heart._ And why do you let the Devil govern you? _Const._ Because I have more Flesh and Blood than Grace and Self-denial. My dear, dear Mistress! 'S death! that so genteel a Woman should be a Saint, when Religion's out of Fashion! _Heart._ Nay, she's much in the wrong, truly; but who knows how far Time and good Example may prevail? _Const._ O! they have play'd their Parts in vain already: 'Tis now two Years since that damned Fellow her Husband invited me to his Wedding; and there was the first time I saw that charming Woman, whom I have lov'd ever since, more than e'er a Martyr did his Soul; but she is cold, my Friend, still cold as the Northern Star. _Heart._ So are all Women by Nature, which makes them so willing to be warm'd. _Const._ O don't prophane the Sex! Pr'ythee, think them all Angels for her sake; for she's virtuous even to a Fault. _Heart._ A Lover's Head is a good accountable Thing truly; he adores his Mistress for being virtuous, and yet is very angry with her because she won't be lewd. _Const._ Well, the only Relief I expect in my Misery, is to see thee some Day or other as deeply engag'd as myself, which will force me to be merry in the midst of all my Misfortunes. _Heart._ That Day will never come, be assur'd, _Ned_. Not but that I can pass a Night with a Woman, and for the time, perhaps; make myself as good Sport as you can do. Nay, I can court a Woman too, call her Nymph, Angel, Goddess, what you please: But here's the Difference 'twixt you and I; I persuade a Woman she's an Angel, and she persuades you she's one. Pr'ythee, let me tell you how I avoid falling in Love; that which serves me for Prevention, may chance to serve you for a Cure. _Const._ Well, use the Ladies moderately then, and I'll hear you.