9. And thus much may suffice concerning exercising ourselves. My first use of what has been said is to observe, that all passions and distempers of the mind are still accompanied with those very evils which by their means we hoped to avoid. Thus disgrace pursues ambition; pain and indisposition, sensuality; softness and effeminacy are fretted with troubles; contentiousness with disappointment and defeats. But this is nowhere more conspicuous than in bashfulness, which, endeavoring to avoid the smoke of reproach, throws itself into the fire. Such men, wanting confidence to withstand those that unreasonably importune them, afterwards feel shame before those who justly accuse them, and for fear of a slight private rebuke incur more public disgrace. For example, not having the heart to deny a friend that comes to borrow, in short time they are reduced to the same extremity themselves, and exposed openly. Some again, after promising to help friends in a lawsuit, are ashamed to face the opposite party, and are forced to hide their heads and run away. Many have been so unreasonably weak in this particular as to accept of disadvantageous proposals of marriage for a daughter or sister, and upon second thoughts have been forced to bring themselves off with an arrant lie. 10. One made this observation of the people of Asia, that they were all slaves to one man, merely because they could not pronounce that syllable No; but he spake only in raillery. But now the bashful man, though he be not able to say one word, has but to raise his brows or nod downward, as if he minded not, and he may decline many ungrateful and unreasonable offices. Euripides was wont to say, Silence is an answer to a wise man;[36] but we seem to have greater occasion for it in our dealings with fools and unreasonable persons, for men of breeding and sense will be satisfied with reason and fair words. Upon this account we should be always provided with some notable sayings and choice apothegms of famous and excellent men, to repeat to the bashful,—such as that of Phocion to Antipater, You cannot have me for both a friend and a flatterer; and that of his to the Athenians, when they called upon him to come in for his share to defray the expenses of a festival; I am ashamed, said he, pointing to Callicles his creditor, to contribute towards your follies, without paying this man his due. For, as Thucydides says, It is an ill thing to be ashamed of one’s poverty, but much worse not to make use of lawful endeavors to avoid it.[37] But he that is so foolishly good-natured that he cannot answer one that comes to borrow,— My friend, no silver white have I in all my caves,— but gives him a promise to be better provided,— The wretch has made himself a slave to shame, And drags a tiresome, though an unforged chain.[38]