Hans!--I've no patience with the lout! What, Hans, on earth are you about? (Shakes HANS, who yawns again) Did ever room look so forlorn? Hans!--Hark! I hear the postman's horn! (Sounds of a horn in the distance. HANS stretches, yawns, and rises.) HANS. What der tuyvel is der matter, Dus you chitter-chatter-clatter? GERTRUDE (aside). His impudence can not be borne! HANS. What's dat I hear? GERTRUDE. The postman's horn! (Sounds of horn again.) Whose notes o'er moor and mountain flung-- HANS. Are not so noisy as your tongue! (Horn sounds as though approaching; whips are heard, and the post-coach is supposed to arrive outside with PASSENGERS. Enter the ATTENDANTS, with portmanteaus, carpet-bags, etc., and PASSENGERS.) CHORUS. Rejoice! rejoice! we're safe and sound, And shelter for the night have found, Within this snug abode! The dust may rise, the rain may fall-- Beneath this roof we'll smile at all The dangers of the road! SOLO. Then let the cheerful board be spread; To supper first, and then to bed, Till birds their songs begin: Thus, whether sleeping or awake, The weary traveller will take His comfort at his inn. CHORUS. Rejoice! rejoice! we're safe, etc. [Exit PASSENGERS and ATTENDANTS GERTRUDE. Where in the world are all these people going to, Hans? HANS. To Berlin, to shee der troops. Frederick musters dem to-morrow at der capital. But why don't you attend to der guest? GERTRUDE. Why don't YOU? You are not fit to keep an inn, Hans. HANS. I was not prought up to it; mine pishiness was to keep a paint-shop, and shell der colors to der artists. GERTRUDE. Don't stand here chatting about your fine colors--but look to the guests-- HANS. Yaw, yaw, mein fraulein. ALBERT (without) Ho! landlord!--Waiters, look to our luggage! WEDGEWOOD (speaking as he enters.) If it is convenient. (Enter ALB'T and WEDGEWOOD in cloaks, briskly.) GERTRUDE. This way, gentlemen, this way. ALBERT. Two bed-chambers, landlord, as soon as possible. HANS. Yaw, mynheer. (Gives directions to ATTENDANT, who exits) WEDGEWOOD. Landlady, take care of my coat and stick, and here's something for your pains. GERTRUDE. Yes, sir. WEDGEWOOD (looking at her.) What a pretty girl. GERTRUDE. Is that ALL, sir? WEDGEWOOD (aside to GERTRUDE.) No, that's not all. (Kisses her.) Take this into the bargain, you jade! GERTRUDE (courtesies.) Thank you, sir. (Aside.) What a nice, queer old gentleman! HANS (taking her away passionately.) What's dat to you? Give me der tings (takes them.) You do noding but ogle mit der young folks, and flirt mit der old ones! GERTRUDE. Oh, you jealous brute! [Exit in a huff. WEDGEWOOD (noticing her.) Nice girl that--ODD, too, that she should have married a man old enough to be her grandfather! HANS (aside.) Dat queer chap in der brown vig I'm sure is a gay deceiver, or he would not admire mine vife so much. I must have mine eyes about me. [Exit.