Next, in what rare Production shall we trace, Such various Subjects in so small a Space? As the first Ship upon the Waters bore Incongruous Kinds who never met before; Or as some curious Virtuoso joins, In one small room, Moths, Minerals, and Coins, Birds, Beasts, and Fishes; nor refuses place To Serpents, Toads, and all the Reptile-race; So here, compress’d within a single Sheet, Great things and small, the mean and mighty meet; ’Tis this which makes all Europe’s Business known, Yet here a private Man may place his own; And where he reads of Lords and Commons, he May tell their Honours that he sells Rappee. Add next th’ Amusement which the motley Page Affords to either Sex and every Age: Lo! where it comes before the cheerful Fire, Damps from the Press in smoky Curls aspire, (As from the Earth the Sun exhales the Dew,) Ere we can read the Wonders that ensue: Then eager every Eye surveys the Part, That brings its favourite Subject to the Heart; Grave Politicians look for Facts alone, And gravely add Conjectures of their own: The sprightly Nymph, who never broke her rest For tottering Crowns, or mighty Lands opprest, Finds Broils and Battles, but neglects them all For Songs and Suits, a Birth-day, or a Ball: The keen warm Man o’erlooks each idle Tale For “Moneys wanted,” and “Estates on Sale;” While some with equal Minds to all attend, Pleas’d with each Part and griev’d to find an End. So charm the News; but we, who, far from Town, Wait till the Post-man brings the Packet down, Once in the Week, a vacant Day behold, And stay for Tidings, till they’re three Days old: That Day arrives; no welcome Post appears, But the dull Morn a sullen Aspect wears; We meet, but ah! without our wonted Smile, To talk of Headaches, and complain of Bile; Sullen we ponder o’er a dull Repast, Nor feast the Body while the Mind must fast. A master Passion is the Love of News, Not Music so commands, nor so the Muse; Give Poets Claret, they grow idle soon; Feed the Musician and he’s out of tune; But the sick Mind of this Disease possest, Flies from all Cure and sickens when at rest.