I du believe with all my soul In the gret Press's freedom, To pint the people to the goal An' in the traces lead 'em; Palsied the arm thet forges yokes At my fat contracts squintin', An' withered be the nose thet pokes Inter the gov'ment printin'! I du believe thet I should give Wut's his'n unto Cæsar, Fer it's by him I move an' live, Frum him my bread an' cheese air; I du believe thet all o' me Doth bear his superscription,-- Will, conscience, honor, honesty, An' things o' thet description. I du believe in prayer an' praise To him that hez the grantin' O' jobs,--in every thin' thet pays, But most of all in |Cantin|'; This doth my cup with marcies fill, This lays all thought o' sin to rest,-- I _don't_ believe in princerple, But O, I _du_ in interest. I du believe in bein' this Or thet, ez it may happen One way or t' other hendiest is To ketch the people nappin'; It aint by princerples nor men My preudunt course is steadied,-- I scent which pays the best, an' then Go into it baldheaded. I du believe thet holdin' slaves Comes nat'ral tu a Presidunt, Let 'lone the rowdedow it saves To hev a wal-broke precedunt; Fer any office, small or gret, I couldn't ax with no face, Without I'd ben, thru dry an' wet, Th' unrizzest kind o' doughface. I du believe wutever trash 'll keep the people in blindness,-- Thet we the Mexicuns can thrash Right inter brotherly kindness, Thet bombshells, grape, an' powder 'n' ball Air good-will's strongest magnets, Thet peace, to make it stick at all, Must be druv in with bagnets. In short, I firmly du believe In Humbug generally, Fer it's a thing thet I perceive To hev a solid vally; This heth my faithful shepherd ben, In pasturs sweet heth led me, An' this 'll keep the people green To feed ez they hev fed me. [I subjoin here another passage from my before-mentioned discourse. "Wonderful, to him that has eyes to see it rightly, is the newspaper. To me, for example, sitting on the critical front bench of the pit, in my study here in Jaalam, the advent of my weekly journal is as that of a strolling theatre, or rather of a puppet-show, on whose stage, narrow as it is, the tragedy, comedy, and farce of life are played in little. Behold the whole huge earth sent to me hebdomadally in a brown-paper wrapper!