Debauch'd by marriage into Pride, 1000 In age grown fond of youthful sports, Of pomps, of vanities, and courts, And by success too mighty made To love his country or his trade; Stiff in opinion, (no rare case With blockheads in or out of place) Too weak, and insolent of soul To suffer Reason's just control, But bending, of his own accord, To that trim transient toy, my lord; 1010 The dupe of Scots, (a fatal race, Whom God in wrath contrived to place To scourge our crimes, and gall our pride, A constant thorn in England's side; Whom first, our greatness to oppose, He in his vengeance mark'd for foes; Then, more to serve his wrathful ends, And more to curse us, mark'd for friends) Deep in the state, if we give credit To him, for no one else e'er said it, 1020 Sworn friend of great ones not a few, Though he their titles only knew, And those (which, envious of his breeding, Book-worms have charged to want of reading) Merely to show himself polite He never would pronounce aright; An orator with whom a host Of those which Rome and Athens boast, In all their pride might not contend; Who, with no powers to recommend, 1030 Whilst Jackey Hume, and Billy Whitehead, And Dicky Glover,[240] sat delighted, Could speak whole days in Nature's spite, Just as those able versemen write; Great Dulman from his bed arose-- Thrice did he spit--thrice wiped his nose-- Thrice strove to smile--thrice strove to frown-- And thrice look'd up--and thrice look'd down-- Then silence broke--'Crape, who am I?' Crape bow'd, and smiled an arch reply. 1040 'Am I not, Crape? I am, you know, Above all those who are below. Hare I not knowledge? and for wit, Money will always purchase it: Nor, if it needful should be found, Will I grudge ten or twenty pound, For which the whole stock may be bought Of scoundrel wits, not worth a groat. But lest I should proceed too far, I'll feel my friend the Minister, 1050 (Great men, Crape, must not be neglected) How he in this point is affected; For, as I stand a magistrate, To serve him first, and next the state, Perhaps he may not think it fit To let his magistrates have wit. Boast I not, at this very hour, Those large effects which troop with power? Am I not mighty in the land? Do not I sit whilst others stand? 1060 Am I not with rich garments graced, In seat of honour always placed? And do not cits of chief degree, Though proud to others, bend to me? Have I not, as a Justice ought, The laws such wholesome rigour taught, That Fornication, in disgrace, Is now afraid to show her face, And not one whore these walls approaches Unless they ride in their own coaches? 1070 And shall this Fame, an old poor strumpet, Without our licence sound her trumpet, And, envious of our city's quiet, In broad daylight blow up a riot?