_Ner._ Well, and is’t not sense To seek for happiness the natural way? Not by the notions of philosophers, Who fashion theoretic right and wrong 770 From books; or if they judge mankind at all, Judge by themselves, who are unlike the rest, Scarce human. ’Tis the soundest principle To follow nature; and what nature is I well perceive. I judge all by myself: The appetites are universal gifts: Cæsar will never stoop to flatter Cæsar By such pretence of difference, nor withhold From others what himself loves. I believe That no man in the world worth calling man Is what philosophers term pure and good;— Nor woman either. All would gratify The strong desires of nature, and all shall, While I am emperor. _Tig._ Blessed be the god, Who first named thee for rule. _Sce._ We all admire. _Ner._ Is it not sense? _Tig._ ’Tis commonsense. _Vat._ I wonder None ever thought of it before. _Ner._ Tut! fool; That is the greatness: ’tis the common thing For man to beat about. True genius Is but simplicity: all great inventions Seem first devices. _Tig._ ’Tis a revolution. _Ner._ Just so: in ethics as in politics. I let the world wag as it will; and if The world mistake its will, then I am Cæsar To wag it. _Vat._ Here’s a flaw, good wag; you judge The appetites of all men by your own: The standard is too high. _Ner._ We’ll see to that; By one experiment I’ll strangle doubt. This is my plan. I mean to hold a fête, Say at Agrippa’s pool:—the folk will need 800 Some such diversion when the fire is o’er:— Thither I’ll draw all Rome, with novel shows, Sea-fights and monsters; round about the water, Along the bank, I shall have wine-booths set, Brilliant with luxury and enticement, wine Gratis; and to all comers night and day They shall stand open. Now I’ll have these booths Kept by the Roman ladies:—that’s my plan. They shall have license, everything permitted But interference. We will watch our Trojans, How they conduct themselves. _Vat._ This is simplicity. _Ner._ (_aside to Tig._). And mark the disaffected. _Tig._ (_aside_). Here’s a trap To catch all but the vermin. _Sce._ A grand invention. _Ner._ The details, my good master, are for you: Our three friends here may help. _Sce., Se^{o.} and Qu._ (_bowing_). Our humble thanks. _Enter a Servant._ _Ner._ (_to Servant_). What is it? _SERVANT._ Lord Seneca is in attendance, sire. _Tig._ (_to Ner._). Send the old man home to his wife. _Ner._ What can he come for? _Vat._ Is’t not the hour for lessons?