Pole Baker: A NovelHarben, Will N. (Will Nathaniel)
General
Pole Baker: A Novel
Harben, Will N. (Will Nathaniel)
Georgia -- Fiction
“Don't call him my uncle--he's not that, except as hell gives men
relatives. But I don't want to speak of him. The memory of his ashy
face, glittering eyes, and triumphant tone as he hurled those facts at
me is like a horrible nightmare. I'm not here to deny a thing, little
girl. I came to let you see me just as I am. I fell very low. No one
knows I'm here. I passed through Darley without meeting a soul I knew
and walked all the way here, dodging off the road when I heard the sound
of hoofs or wheels. I've come to you, Cynthia--only you. You are the
only one out of this part of my life that I ever want to see again. I am
not going to hide anything. After that revelation in Atlanta I sank as
low as a brute. I drank and lost my head. I spent several days in New
Orleans more like a demon than a human being--among gamblers, thieves,
and cutthroats. Two of my companions confessed to me that they were
escaped convicts put in for murder. I went on to Havana and came back
again to New Orleans. Yesterday I reached Atlanta. I learned that the
police had been trying to find me, and hid out. Last night, Cynthia, I
was drunk again; but this morning I woke up with a longing to throw
it all off, to be a man once more, and while I was thinking about it a
thought came to me like a flash of light from heaven thrown clear across
the black waste of hell. The thought came to me that, although I am a
nobody (that name has never passed my lips since I learned it was not my
own)--the thought came to me, I say, that there was one single and only
chance for me to return to manhood and obtain earthly happiness. Do you
follow me, dearest?”
She raised her head and looked into his great, staring eyes.
“Not quite, Nelson,” she said, softly. “Not quite.”
“You see, I recalled that you, too, are not happy here at home, and, as
in my case, through no fault of your own--no fault, except being born
different from others around you. I remembered all you'd told me about
your mother's suspicious, exacting nature, and how hard you worked at
home, and how little real joy you got out of life, and then it came to
me that we both had as much right to happiness as any one else--you for
your hard life and I for all that I'd suffered. So I stopped drinking.
I have not touched a drop to-day, although a doctor down there said I
really needed a stimulant. You can see how nervous I am. I shake all
over. But I am stimulated by hope--that's it, Cynthia--hope! I've come
to tell you that you can make a man of me--that you have it in your
power to blot out all my trouble.”
“I don't see how, Nelson.” Cynthia raised her head and looked into his
shadowy face wonderingly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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