Friendship -- Fiction; Poor -- Fiction; Russia -- Social life and customs -- 1533-1917 -- Fiction
finding utterance in impetuous speech. Why, therefore, should one not
value oneself at a groat as one listens in fear and trembling to the
roar and turmoil of the city? Maybe you think that I am exaggerating
things--that this is a mere whim of mine, or that I am quoting from a
book? No, no, Barbara. You may rest assured that it is not so.
Exaggeration I abhor, with whims I have nothing to do, and of quotation
I am guiltless.
I arrived home today in a melancholy mood. Sitting down to the table, I
had warmed myself some tea, and was about to drink a second glass of it,
when there entered Gorshkov, the poor lodger. Already, this morning,
I had noticed that he was hovering around the other lodgers, and also
seeming to want to speak to myself. In passing I may say that his
circumstances are infinitely worse than my own; for, only think of it,
he has a wife and children! Indeed, if I were he, I do not know what
I should do. Well, he entered my room, and bowed to me with the pus
standing, as usual, in drops on his eyelashes, his feet shuffling about,
and his tongue unable, at first, to articulate a word. I motioned him to
a chair (it was a dilapidated enough one, but I had no other), and asked
him to have a glass of tea. To this he demurred--for quite a long time
he demurred, but at length he accepted the offer. Next, he was for
drinking the tea without sugar, and renewed his excuses, but upon
the sugar I insisted. After long resistance and many refusals, he DID
consent to take some, but only the smallest possible lump; after which,
he assured me that his tea was perfectly sweet. To what depths of
humility can poverty reduce a man! “Well, what is it, my good sir?” I
inquired of him; whereupon he replied: “It is this, Makar Alexievitch.
You have once before been my benefactor. Pray again show me the charity
of God, and assist my unfortunate family. My wife and children have
nothing to eat. To think that a father should have to say this!” I was
about to speak again when he interrupted me. “You see,” he continued,
“I am afraid of the other lodgers here. That is to say, I am not so much
afraid of, as ashamed to address them, for they are a proud, conceited
lot of men. Nor would I have troubled even you, my friend and former
benefactor, were it not that I know that you yourself have experienced
misfortune and are in debt; wherefore, I have ventured to come and make
this request of you, in that I know you not only to be kind-hearted, but
also to be in need, and for that reason the more likely to sympathise
with me in my distress.” To this he added an apology for his awkwardness
and presumption. I replied that, glad though I should have been to
serve him, I had nothing, absolutely nothing, at my disposal. “Ah, Makar
Alexievitch,” he went on, “surely it is not much that I am asking of
you? My-my wife and children are starving. C-could you not afford me
just a grivennik?” At that my heart contracted, “How these people put me
to shame!” thought I.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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