"MY DEAR TOM--I shall begin a letter to you now, and fill it up as a
sort of a diary; as it is the best plan, I think, to narrate
circumstances as they actually take place. It is unpleasant to say
anything against my mother, the more so as I believe that she thinks she
has been doing right, and has my interest sincerely at heart: she
appears to consider that an alliance with people of rank cannot be
purchased too dear, and that every attempt is justifiable to secure for
me such an advantage. Little does she know me. If she forgets, I never
shall, that I am the daughter of a Greenwich pensioner, and never would
ally myself with those whose relations would look upon me as a disgrace
to their family. No, Tom; even if I were so heedless as to allow my
affections to be enthralled, I would at any sacrifice refuse to enter
into a family much beyond my condition. I have thought of this often,
and I confess that I am sometimes unhappy. I have been brought up and
educated above my situation in life, and I do not think I ever could
marry a person who was not more refined and educated than those who are
really and truly my equals, But as, at the same time, I never will enter
into a family who might look down upon my parentage, I presume your
little Virginia must remain unmarried. If so, I am content--I have no
wish to alter my present condition. I am happy and respected; and with
the exception of the trifling annoyances which we all must expect and
must submit to, I have no reason to be dissatisfied; on the contrary, I
have to be grateful for many blessings, and I trust that I am so. My
poor mother is the cause of all my present vexations. She tells me that
my beauty, as she is partially pleased to call it, is sufficient for my
aspiring to the hand of a duke, and that it will be my own fault if I do
not make a high connection. Every night she has been overwhelming me
with alternate reproaches and entreaties to permit the attentions of the
gay gentleman who is now lodging at our house, stating that it was on my
account only that he took the apartments, and that, if I play my cards
well, he will be caught in his own trap, which, I presume, is as much as
to say that he came here with different intentions, and finding that he
cannot succeed, will secure his intended prize or victim by marriage
rather than not obtain her at all. Very flattering, truly! and this is
the man to whom my mother would induce me to confide my future
happiness--a man who, independent of his want of probity, is a fool into
the bargain. But the persecution on his part and on that of my mother
now becomes so annoying that I have requested Mrs. St. Felix to speak to
Mr. Sommerville the tutor, who, if he does his duty--and I have every
reason to believe that he will do so--will take some measures to remove
his pupil from our house.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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