I left old Nanny as soon as she was more composed, for I was so anxious
to have some conversation with old Anderson. I did not call on my
father, as it was not a case on which he was likely to offer any
opinion, and I thought it better that the secret which I possessed
should be known but to one other person. I refer to the knowledge which
I had obtained relative to the husband of Mrs. St. Felix, who, it
appeared, was not hanged, as supposed by her. The information received
from Spicer accounted for Mrs. St. Felix's conduct when any reference
was made to her husband, and I was now aware how much pain she must have
suffered when his name was mentioned. I found Anderson alone in his
office, and I immediately made him acquainted with what I had learned,
and asked him his opinion as to the propriety of communicating it to
Mrs. St. Felix. Anderson rested his head upon his hand for some time in
silence; at last he looked up at me.
"Why, Tom, that she suffers much from the supposed ignominious fate of
her husband is certain, but it is only occasionally; her spirits are
good, and she is cheerful, except when reminded of it by any casual
observation. That it would prove a great consolation to her to know that
her husband did not forfeit his life on the scaffold is true; but what
then? he is said to have entered the King's service under another name,
and, of course, there is every probability of his being alive and well
at this moment. Now she is comparatively tranquil and composed; but
consider what anxiety, what suspense, what doubts, must ever fill her
mind, must oppress her waking hours, must haunt her in her dreams, after
she is made acquainted with his possible existence. Hope deferred maketh
the heart sick; and her existence would be one of continued tumult, of
constant anticipation, and I may say of misery. He may be dead, and then
will her new-born hopes be crushed when she has ascertained the fact; he
may never appear again, and she may linger out a life of continual
fretting. I think, Tom, that were she my daughter, and I in possession
of similar facts, I would not tell her--at least, not at present. We may
be able to make inquiries without her knowledge. We know his name; an
advertisement might come to his eyes or ears; and, moreover, you have
the telescope, which may be of use if it is constantly seen in your
hands. Let us at present do all we can without her knowledge, and leave
the result in the hands of Providence, who, if it thinks fit, will work
by its own means. Are you of my opinion, Tom?"
"When I came to ask your advice, Anderson, it was with the intention of
being guided by it, even if it had not coincided with my own opinion,
which, now that I have heard your reasons, it certainly does. By the
bye, I have not yet called upon Mrs. St. Felix, and I will go now. You
will see old Nanny again?"
"I will, my boy, this evening. Good-by! I'm very busy now, for the
officers will inspect to-morrow morning."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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