Mr. Wilson has been dead some time; he left me a legacy of five hundred
pounds. I believe I have mentioned all my old acquaintances now, except
Bill Harness and Opposition Bill. In living long certainly Opposition
Bill has beat his opponent, for Harness is in the churchyard, while
Opposition Bill still struts about with his hair as white as snow, and
his face shriveled up like an old monkey's. The last time I was at
Greenwich, I heard the pensioners say to one another, "Why, you go ahead
about as fast as Opposition Bill." I requested this enigma to me to be
solved, and it appeared that one Greenwich fair, Opposition Bill had set
off home rather the worse for what he had drank, and so it happened
that, crossing the road next to the hospital, his wooden leg had stuck
in one of the iron plug-holes of the water conduit. Bill did not, in his
situation, perceive that anything particular had occurred, and continued
playing his fiddle and singing, and, as he supposed, walking on the
whole time, instead of which he was continually walking round and round
the one leg in the plug-hole with the other that was free. After about
half an hour's trotting round and round this way, he began to think that
he did not get home quite so fast as he ought, but the continual
circular motion had made him more confused than before.
"By Gum!" said Bill, "this hospital is a confounded long way off. I'm
sure I walk a mile, and I get no nearer; howsoebber, nebber mind--here
goes."
Here Billy struck up a tune, and commenced a song along with it, still
walking round and round his wooden leg which was firmly fixed in the
plug-hole, and so he continued till he fell down from giddiness, and he
was picked up by some of the people, who carried him home to the
hospital.
I have but one more circumstance to relate. I was one day sitting with
Bessy and my children, at the old cottage on the beach, Bramble and my
father were smoking their pipes on a bench which they had set up
outside, when one of the Deal boats landed with passengers. As they
passed by us one old gentleman started, and then stopped short, as he
beheld Bessy.
"Mine frau!" he cried, "mine frau dat was in heaven!"
We stared very much, as we did not comprehend him; but he then came up
to me and said, "I beg your pardon, mynheer, but what is dat young
woman?"
"She is my wife," replied I.
"I was going to say dat she was my wife, but dat is impossible. Look you
here, sar."
The old man pulled a miniature out of his breast, and certainly the
resemblance to Bessy was most remarkable.
"Now, sar, dat was my wife. Where did you get dis young woman?"
I requested him to walk into the cottage, and then told him the history
of Bessy.
"Sar, my wife was coming home with her child in a brig, and the brig was
never heard of. It was supposed that she did perish, and every one else
too. Sar, this lady must be my daughter."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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