This was not the end to which I was driving; but Bramble's eyes would
not be opened, and I could not help it. He had never directly spoken to
me about an union with Bessy, and therefore it was impossible for me to
say any more. Bramble, however, did not fail to communicate what I had
said to her; and one evening when we were standing on the shingle beach,
she said to me, "So Emerson has been convicted for smuggling, and
sentenced beyond the seas."
"I am sorry for it," replied I.
"His house is to be let now, Tom; would it not suit you? for my father
told me that you wished to leave us."
"Why should I live upon you when I am able to support myself?"
"Certainly not. If it were not that I could not bear to see father
miserable, I think it would be better if you did take Emerson's house;
but it would vex him, poor good man."
"But not you, Bessy; is it that you mean?"
"Perhaps it is. Tell me yourself, Tom, would it not be better?"
I made no reply.
"Well," replied Bessy, "think of me as you please; I will speak now,
Tom. I am not considering you, Tom, nor am I thinking of myself; I am
only induced so to do on account of my father. We have been brought up
together as children, Tom, and, as children, we were great friends, and,
I believe, sincerely attached to each other. I believe it to be very
true that those who are brought up together as brothers and sisters do
not change that affection for any other more serious in after life. It
is therefore not our faults if we cannot feel as, you must know, Tom, my
father wishes we should. Am I not right?"
"You are, I believe, Bessy," replied I.
"My father, therefore, is deceiving himself with the hopes of what never
can take place, but I know him even better than you do, Tom; it is the
object of his daily thoughts--his only wish before he sinks into his
grave. I cannot bear to undeceive him; no more can you, if I have truly
judged your feelings."
"You have judged right, Bessy."
"The very circumstance of our knowing his wishes, the hints which he
throws out, his joking on the subject, have been a source of annoyance
to both of us; and not only a source of annoyance, Tom, it has estranged
us--we no longer feel that affection which we should feel for each
other, that kindness as between brother and sister which might exist; on
the contrary, not being exactly aware of each other's feelings, we avoid
each other, and fearful that the least kindness might be misconstrued,
we do not really treat each as we otherwise would; in fact, it has
destroyed our mutual confidence. Is it not so?"
"It is, I acknowledge, but too true, Bessy, and I thank you for having
entered into this explanation--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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