One night, after the first performance of a friend's play, he turned in to the club for supper, and, being disinclined for sleep, because although it was a friend's play it had been a tremendous success, which always made him feel anxious about his own future he lingered on until the smoking-room was nearly deserted. Towards three o'clock he was sitting pensively in a quiet corner when he heard his name mentioned by two members, who had taken seats close by without perceiving his presence. They were both strangers to him, and he was about to rise from his chair and walk severely out of the room, when he heard one say to the other: "Yes, they tell me his brother-in-law writes his plays for him." John found this so delightfully diverting an idea that he could not resist keeping quiet to hear more. "Oh, I don't believe that," said the second unknown member. "Fact, I assure you. I was told so by a man who knows Eleanor Cartright." "The actress?" "Yes, she's a sister-in-law of his." "Really, I never knew that." "Oh yes. Well, this man met her with a fellow called Armitage, an ex-monk who broke his vows in order to marry Touchwood's sister." John pressed himself deeper into his armchair. "Really? But I never knew monks could marry," objected number two. "I tell you, he broke his vows." "Oh, I see," murmured number two, who was evidently no wiser, but was anxious to appear so. "Well, it seems that this fellow Armitage is a thundering fine poet, but without much experience of the stage. Of course, he wouldn't have had much as a monk." "Of course not," agreed number two, decidedly. "So, what does Johnnie Touchwood do--" "Damned impudence calling me Johnnie," thought the subject of the duologue. "But make a contract with his brother-in-law to stay out of the way down in Devonshire or Dorsetshire--I forget which--but, anyway, down in the depths of the country somewhere, and write all the best speeches in old Johnnie's plays. Now, it seems there's been a family row, and they tell me that Armitage is going to sue Johnnie." "What was the row about?" "Well, apparently Johnnie is a bit close. Most of these successful writers are, of course," said number one with the nod of an expert. "Of course," agreed his companion, with an air of equally profound comprehension. "And took advantage of his position as the fellow with money to lord it over the rest of his family. There's another brother--an awful clever beggar--James, I think his name is--a real first-class scientist, original research man and all that, who's spent the whole of his fortune on some great discovery or other. Well, will you believe it, but the other day when he was absolutely starving, Johnnie Touchwood offered to lend him some trifling sum if he would break the entail." "I didn't know the Touchwoods were landed proprietors. I always understood the father was a dentist," said number two.