"It seems a paltry thing now to say that I love you," goes on Gower in
an impassioned tone that carries her away with it, now that she is sore
at heart; "You _know_ that. You have known it for weeks." He puts aside
with a gesture her feeble attempt at contradiction. "Every thought of my
heart is yours; I live only in the hope that I shall soon see you again.
Tell me now honestly, would it be possible to break off this engagement
with your cousin?"
At this she shrinks a little from him, and a distressed look comes into
her beautiful eyes.
"What are you saying?" she says, in a half-frightened way. "It has been
going on for so long, this engagement--_always_, as it seems to me. How
should I break it off? And then there is Uncle Christopher, he would be
unhappy; he would not forgive, and--besides--"
Her voice dies away. Memory vague but sharp, comes to her. If she should
now deliberately discard Roger, how will it be with her in the future?
And yet what if he should be glad of his freedom; should welcome it with
open arms? If, indeed, he should be only waiting for her to take the
initiative, and give him his release!
This reflection carries its sting; there is madness in it. She closes
her lips firmly, and her breath comes quickly and uncertainly.
"It will be better for you later on," breaks in Gower, tempting her,
surely but quietly. "When you are married--it is all very well for you
now, when escape at any moment is possible; but when you are irrevocably
bound to an unloving husband how will it be with you? Other women have
tried it, and how has it ended with them? Not as it will with you, I
know; you are far above the many; but still your life will drag with
you--there will be no joy! no sympathy! no--Dulce have pity on yourself
(I do not say on _me_), and save yourself while you can."
She makes a last faint protest.
"How do you _know_ he does not love me?" she asks, painfully. "How can
you be sure?--and at least"--wistfully--"we are accustomed to each
other, we have known each other all our lives, and we have quarrelled
_so_ hard already that we can scarcely do anything more--the worst with
us is over."
"It will be different then," says Gower--he is speaking from his heart
in all honesty. "Now you belong to him only in an improbable fashion;
then--"
"It is your belief that he does not love me at all?" interrupts she,
tapping her foot impatiently upon the ground.
"It is my belief," returns he slowly.
Almost as he speaks, some one steps from the lighted room beyond on the
balcony and approaches them. It is Roger.
"This is ours, I think," he says, addressing Dulce, and alluding to the
waltz just commencing.
"Is it--what a pity; I had quite forgotten," she says, wilfully. "I am
afraid I have half promised it to Mr. Gower, and you know _he_ dances
charmingly."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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