To a casual observer, of course, all this is not apparent; but to these
two, between whom Fate sits relentless, the pain and sorrow of it is
deep and cruel. More deep, more sorrowful for him, of course. His whole
life is a ruin; he had thought of many things when first the blight fell
upon him; but that he should fall in love, and because of this curse
that has blasted his best days, should be compelled to turn aside from
the love of his heart, had not occurred to him. His life has grown too
bitter to be borne with fortitude, almost he is "half in love with
easeful death." Oh, the joy--the rapture! to pass away from all the
tortures of this "work-a-day world" to a land unknown, but surely full
of rest. To die--to disappear! To court a glad forgetfulness! In this
alone lies hope, and, that sweetest of all sweet things, indifference.
Not coward enough to compel death, he still longs for it; he would slip
away from all and sink into oblivion, and gladly deem himself and his
sad history forgotten. "To cease upon the midnight with no pain?" What
sweeter, kinder fate could visit him than that for which Keats
longed--not vainly.
Into his life, too, some smaller worries are thrown. The old man Slyme,
the secretary, has been going rapidly from bad to worse, of late. His
intemperate habits are growing on him, and now seldom comes the day when
he is not discovered to be unfit for duty of any kind.
Naturally such conduct incenses Sir Christopher to the last degree. The
old man has been for years in his service, but time wears out all
things, and even regard and use can be forgotten. Fabian, falling into
the breach, seeks to mend it, although Slyme has never been a favorite
of his, and although he is fully aware that he is very distasteful to
the secretary for reasons unknown; still he pleads his cause,
principally because the man is old and friendless; and this, too, he
does secretly, the secretary being ignorant of the force brought to bear
upon his delinquencies, a force that keeps a roof over his head, and
leaves him a competence without which the world would be a barren spot
to him indeed, with only the poor-house--that most degrading of all
places--to which to turn.
To-day is melancholy, cold and bleak. The winds are sighing; the earth
is bare and naked; no vestige of a fresh and coming life can yet be
seen. Upon the gray sands, far away, the white waves dash themselves
tumultuously, the sea birds shriek, and, "blasting keen and loud, roll
the white surges to the sounding shore."
Indoors there is warmth and comfort. Julia, sitting over the fire,
finding she cannot get Dulce to gossip with--Dulce, indeed, is not
come-at-able of late--turns gratefully to Portia, who happens to come
into the room at this moment.
"The fire is the only delicious thing in the house," she says,
fretfully. "_Do_ come here and enjoy it with me."
"Anything the matter with you?" asks Portia, gently, seating herself on
a low lounging chair at her side.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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