She is standing barely inside the door with the little volume pressed
closely, almost convulsively, between her fingers, and for a moment
makes him no reply. It is the first time they have ever been alone since
that day when he had injured his arm through the running away of Sir
Christopher's mare.
Now, his face, his tone, is so unfriendly that a great fear falls upon
her. Is he very angry with her still? Has she sinned past forgiveness?
Will he, perhaps, order her to leave the room? She tries to rally her
power of resistance against what fate--relentless, implacable--is
preparing for her; but in vain. A terrible fear of him (the man
regarding her with such stern eyes) and of herself crushes her. Her
heart dies within her; what evil has fallen upon her days, that _once_
were happy? and yet--and yet--of what--what exquisite sweetness is this
evil formed!
She flushes, first painfully; and then the flush fades, and pallor holds
full sway.
"I can do something for you?" asks Fabian, not advancing toward her,
not letting even one kindly accent warm his frozen tone, and this when
the silence has grown positively unbearable.
"Thank you--no." Her little cold hands are nervously twined around the
book she holds. Speech has cruelly deserted her; a sob has risen in her
throat, and she is battling with it so fiercely, that for a moment she
can say nothing. Then she conquers, and almost piteously she lays the
book upon the very edge of the table nearest her, and says with
difficulty:
"I brought you this. At breakfast this morning you said you had not read
it; and to-night I knew you would be alone, and I thought--it is 'The
Europeans'--it might help you to while away an hour."
Her voice dies away and again silence follows it. She is really
frightened now. She has met many men, has been the acknowledged beauty
of a London season, has had great homage laid at her feet; but no man
has had power to make her heart waken, until she met this man, upon whom
disgrace lies heavy. It is _Kismet_! She feels cold now, and miserable,
and humbled before him who should surely be humbled before her. What has
she meant by coming to his room without so much as an invitation; to
him--who in her sight is guilty, indeed, of an offense not to be
forgiven in the world.
She grows tired and very weary, and the old pain at her heart, that
always comes to her when she is miserable or perplexed, is tormenting
her now, making her feel sick of life and dispirited.
"It was kind of you to think of me," says Fabian, coldly; "_too_ kind.
But there are some matters of importance I must get through to-night,
and I fear I shall not have time for fiction."
She takes up the book again, the little instrument that betrays his
determination to accept no benefits at her hands, and moves toward the
door.
Coming quickly up to her, that he may open the door, he stands between
her and it, and stops her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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