Any thought of suffering in others--of poor women in childbirth, of
rabbits caught in traps, of dogs poisoned, of children run over or
accidentally wounded--these things, if he knew of them, produced an odd
sort of sympathetic pain in himself. The strangest thing had been that
the war, with all its horrors, had not driven him crazy as he might have
expected from his earlier history. On so terrible a scale was it that
his senses soon became numbed? He did the work that he was given to do,
and heard of the rest like cries beyond the wall. Again and again he had
tried to mingle, himself, in it; he had always been prevented.
A dog run over by a motor car struck him more terribly than all the
agonies of Ypres.
But these things, what had they to do with his present case? He could
not think at all. His brain literally reeled, as though it shook, tried
to steady itself, could not, and then turned right over. His body was
alive, standing up with all its nerves on tiptoe. How was he to endure
these hours that were coming to him?
"I must get out of this!" some one, not himself, cried. It seemed to him
that he could hear the strange voice in the room. "I must get out of
this. How dare they keep me if I demand to be let out? I am an American
citizen. Let me out of this. Can't you hear? Bring me a light and let me
out. I have had enough of this dark room. What do you mean by keeping me
here? You think that you are stronger than I. Try it and see. Let me
out, I say! Let me out!"
He tottered to his feet and ran across the room, although he could not
see his way, blundering against the opposite wall. He beat upon it with
his hands.
"Let me out, do you hear! Let me out!"
He was not himself, Harkness. He could no longer repeat those earlier
words. He was nobody, nothing, nothing at all. They could not hurt him
then. Try as they might they could not hurt him, Harkness, when he was
not Harkness. He laughed, stroking the wall gently with his hand as
though it were his friend.
"It's all right, do you see? You can't hurt me because you can't find
me. I'm hiding, _I_ don't know where to find myself, so that it isn't
likely you will find me. You can't hurt nothing, you know. You can't
indeed."
He laughed and laughed and laughed--gently enjoying his own joke. There
was a sudden knocking at the door.
"Come in!" he said in a whisper. "Come in!"
His heart stood still with fear.
The door opened, splashing into the darkness a shower of light like
water flung from a bucket. In the centre of this the two Japanese were
standing.
"Master says please come. If you ready he ready."
At sight of the Japanese a marvellous thing had happened. All his fear
had on the instant left him, his beastly physical fear. It fell from him
like an old suit of clothes, discarded. He was himself, clear-headed,
cool, collected, and in some strange new way, happy.
Harkness followed them.
III
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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