"Dear Mr. Harkness, it is good indeed of you to listen to me so
patiently. Tell me at once when I bore you. My father died when I was
seventeen and left me all his wealth. He died in a Turkish bath very
suddenly--ill-temper with some casual masseur, I fancy.
"I realised that I had a power. The realisation was very satisfactory to
me. I married and during the three years of my married life I collected
most of the things that I have shown you this evening. I married a woman
whom I was unfortunately unable to make happy. She could have been
happy, I am sure, could she have only understood, a little, the
philosophy that my father had taught me. My father was a very remarkable
man, Mr. Harkness, as perhaps you have perceived, and he had, as I have
told you, shown me the real meaning of this strange life in which we are
forced, against our wills, to take part. It was foolish of my wife not
to benefit by this knowledge. But she did not, and died sooner than I
had anticipated, leaving me one child.
"A widower's life is not a happy one, and you will have undoubtedly
perceived how many widowers marry again."
He paused as though he expected some comment, so Harkness said yes, that
he had perceived it. Crispin sat forward looking at him inquisitively,
and making, with his fingers, a kind of pattern in the air as though he
were tracing there a bar of music.
"Yes. I did not marry again, but rather gave myself up to the
continuation of my father's philosophy. The philosophy of pain as
related to power one might perhaps term it. God--of whose existence no
thinking man can truly permit himself to doubt--have you ever thought,
Mr. Harkness, that the whole of His power is derived from the pain that
He inflicts upon those less powerful than Himself? We conceive of Him as
a beneficent Being, and from that it follows that He must have
determined that pain is, from Him, our greatest beneficence. It is
plainly for our good that He torments us. Should not then we, in our
turn, realising that pain is our greatest happiness, seek, ourselves,
for more pain, and also teach our fellow human beings that it is only
_through_ pain that we can reach the true heart and meaning of life?
Through Pain we reach Power.
"I test you with pain, and as you overcome the pain so do you climb up
beside me, who have also overcome it, and we are in time as gods knowing
good and evil. . . . A concrete case, Mr. Harkness. I slash your face
with a knife. You are so powerful that you take the pain, twist it in
your hand and throw it away. You rise up to me, and suddenly I, who have
inflicted the pain on you, love you because you have taken my power over
you and used it for your soul's advantage."
"And do I love you because you have slashed my face?" asked Harkness.
Crispin's eyes narrowed. He put out his hand and laid it on Harkness's
knee.
"We would have to see," Crispin murmured. "We would have to see. I
wonder--I wonder...."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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