"To be free!" Harkness cried. "My God! What freedom! I can understand
your wanting to escape, but with _such_ men. . . ."
She turned round upon him eagerly. "You don't know what he can be
like--the elder Crispin, I mean. And to a girl, an ignorant, conceited
girl. Yes, I was conceited, that was the cause of everything. Father had
all sorts of books in his room, I used to read everything I could
see--French and German in a kind of way, and secretly I was very proud
of myself. I thought that I was more learned than any one I knew, and I
used to smile to myself secretly when I overheard people saying how good
I was to the boys, and how unselfish, and I would think, 'That's not
what I am at all. If you only knew how much I know, and the kind of
things, you'd be surprised.'
"I was always thinking of the day when I would escape and marry. I
fancied I knew everything about marriage from the books that I had read
and from the things that father said when he was drunk. I hadn't a nice
idea of marriage at all. I thought it was old-fashioned to fall in love,
but through marriage I could reach some fine position where I could do
great things in the world, and always in my mind I saw myself coming one
day back to my village and every one saying: 'Why, I had not an idea she
was like _that._ Fancy all the time she was with us we never knew she
was clever like this.'"
She laughed like a child, a little maliciously, very simply and
confidingly. He saw that she had for the moment forgotten her danger,
and was sitting there in the middle of a dense fog on a lonely moor at a
quarter-past two in the morning with an almost complete stranger as
though she were giving him afternoon tea in the placid security of a
London suburb. He was glad; he did not wish to bring back her earlier
terror, but for himself now, with every moment that passed, he was
increasingly anxious. Time was flying; now they could never catch that
train. And above all, what could have happened to Dunbar? He must surely
have found them by now had some accident not come to him. Perhaps he had
slipped as Harkness had done and was now lying smashed to pieces at the
bottom of that cliff. But what could he, Harkness, do better than this?
While the fog was so dense it was madness to move off in search of any
one. And if the fog lasted were they to sit there until morning and be
caught like mice in a kitchen?
And beneath his anxiety, as his arm held the child at his side, there
was that strange mixture of triumph and pain, of some odd piercing
loneliness and a deep burning satisfaction. Meanwhile her hand rested in
his, soft and warm like the touch of a bird's breast.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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