Again we waited in anguished silence, and soon the change came just as
the doctor said it would. Christopher's eyes opened naturally and I saw
that the glassy stare had gone out of them. He knew where he was, he
knew what he was saying, he would recognize me, if he saw me; but I drew
back into the shadows of the room where I could watch him without being
seen. I wanted to think what I must do.
Christopher beckoned Seraphine and the doctor to come close to him.
"I want you to write something for me," he said in weak tones but quite
distinctly to Seraphine. "I may not come out of this. I--I don't care
very much whether I do or not, but--get some paper--please--and a
pencil. The most important thing is about my money--all that I
have--everything in the world, understand? I--I leave it all to the only
woman I have ever loved--or ever could love--Penelope Wells."
When he had said this he settled back on the pillow and breathed heavily
but with a certain sense of relief, as if his mind was now at rest. I
bit my lip until my teeth cut into it to keep myself from crying out.
"You are both witnesses to this--to what I have said--you've written it
down?" he looked at Seraphine and the doctor who nodded gravely.
"You must find Penelope and tell her that--that she made a mistake to go
away. I understand why she did it, but it was a mistake. Tell her I said
that we all of us have a whole lot to be sorry for and we must not only
ask to be forgiven, but we must be glad to accept the forgiveness of
others for--for whatever we have done that is wrong, and we must believe
that they are sincere in forgiving us. Tell her that I would have been
glad to--to forgive her for--for everything."
His strength was evidently failing and the doctor told him that he had
better not try to talk any more. But Christopher smiled in that quaint
brave way that I knew so well and lifted his thin white hands in
protest.
"Just one thing more--please. It won't make any particular difference,
doc, and I want to say it. I want you to be sure to tell her this--write
it down. Tell her two things. One is that there isn't any argument about
my loving her because I am dying for her--now--that's a fact. There
isn't anything else I want to live for if I can't have Penelope. The
other thing is that--" He paused as a violent spasm of coughing shook
his wasted body, and again the doctor told him to be quiet, but he gave
no heed.
"The other thing is--be sure to tell her this--that I would sooner have
lived with Penelope--I don't care how many devils she was possessed
with--than with all the saints in the calendar. I loved her--" He
struggled to raise himself and then lifting his voice in a supreme
effort, "I loved her good or bad. I--I couldn't help loving her.
There--that's all. Let me sign it."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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