"Uncle, when sis sings in the choir Sunday nights, why does she go behind the organ and taste the tenor's mustache?" "Oh, don't bother me, sonny; I suppose they have to do it to find out if they are in tune." A couple of Vassar girls were found by a professor fencing with broomsticks in a gymnasium. He reminded the young girls that such an accomplishment would not aid them in securing husbands. "It will help us keep them in," replied one of the girls. A clergyman's daughter, looking over the MSS. left by her father in his study, chanced upon the following sentence: "I love to look upon a young man. There is a hidden potency concealed within his breast which charms and pains me." She sat down, and blushingly added: "Them's my sentiments exactly, papa--all but the pains." "My dear," said a sensible Dutchman to his wife, who for the last hour had been shaking her baby up and down on her knee: "I don't think so much butter is good for the child." "Butter? I never give my Artie any butter; what an idea!" "I mean to say you have been giving him a good feed of milk out of the bottle, and now you have been an hour churning it!" We wish to keep the attention of wheat-raisers fixed upon the Saskatchewan variety of wheat until seeding time is over, for we believe it worthy of extended trial. Read the advertisement of W. J. Abernethy & Co. They will sell the seed at reasonable figures, and its reliability can be depended upon. [Illustration: OUR YOUNG FOLKS] LITTLE DILLY-DALLY. I don't believe you ever Knew any one so silly As the girl I'm going to tell about-- A little girl named Dilly, Dilly-dally Dilly, Oh, she is very slow, She drags her feet Along the street, And dilly-dallies so! She's always late to breakfast Without a bit of reason, For Bridget rings and rings the bell And wakes her up in season. Dilly-dally Dilly, How can you be so slow? Why don't you try To be more spry, And not dilly-dally so? 'Tis just the same at evening; And it's really quite distressing To see the time that Dilly wastes In dreaming and undressing. Dilly-dally Dilly Is always in a huff; If you hurry her Or worry her She says, "There's time enough." Since she's neither sick nor helpless, It is quite a serious matter That she should be so lazy that We still keep scolding at her. Dilly-dally Dilly, It's very wrong you know, To do no work That you can shirk, And dilly-dally so. Uncle Jim's Yarn.