On her return to the company, the same control of her feelings which had
distinguished her conduct of late, was again visible; and, although her
aunt most narrowly watched her movements, looks, and speeches, she could
discern no visible alteration by this confirmation of misconduct. The
truth was, that in Emily Moseley the obligations of duty were so
imperative, her sense of her dependence on Providence so humbling and
yet so confiding, that, as soon as she was taught to believe her lover
unworthy of her esteem, that moment an insuperable barrier separated
them. His marriage could add nothing to the distance between them. It
was impossible they could be united; and although a secret lingering of
the affections over his fallen character might and did exist, it existed
without any romantic expectations of miracles in his favor, or vain
wishes of reformation, in which self was the prominent feeling. She
might be said to be keenly alive to all that concerned his welfare or
movements, if she did not harbor the passion of love; but it showed
itself in prayers for his amendment of life, and the most ardent
petitions for his future and eternal happiness. She had set about,
seriously and with much energy, the task of erasing from her heart
sentiments which, however delightful she had found it to entertain in
times past, were now in direct variance with her duty. She knew that a
weak indulgence of such passions would tend to draw her mind from, and
disqualify her to discharge, those various calls on her time and her
exertions, which could alone enable her to assist others, or effect in
her own person the great purposes of her creation. It was never lost
sight of by Emily Moseley, that her existence here was preparatory to an
immensely more important state hereafter. She was consequently in
charity with all mankind; and if grown a little more distrustful of the
intentions of her fellow-creatures, it was a mistrust bottomed in a
clear view of the frailties of our nature; and self-examination was
amongst the not unfrequent speculations she made on this hasty marriage
of her former lover.
Mrs. Wilson saw all this, and was soon made acquainted by her niece in
terms, with her views of her own condition; and although she had to, and
did, deeply regret, that all her caution had not been able to guard
against deception, where it was most important for her to guide aright,
yet she was cheered with the reflection that her previous care, with the
blessings of Providence, had admirably fitted her charge to combat and
overcome the consequences of their mistaken confidence.
The gloom which this little paragraph excited, extended to every
individual in the family; for all had placed Denbigh by the side of
John, in their affections, ever since his weighty services to Emily.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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