Prejudices, fifth seriesMencken, H. L. (Henry Louis)
History
Prejudices, fifth series
Mencken, H. L. (Henry Louis)
American essays -- 20th century; American literature -- History and criticism; Literature -- History and criticism
The United States, I believe, is the first great empire in the history
of the world to ground its whole national philosophy upon business.
There have been, of course, eminent trading nations in the past, but
none ever went so far. Even in Carthage there was a _Junker_ hierarchy
that stood above the merchants; in Hannibal it actually had a Crown
Prince. And even in England, the nation of shopkeepers of Napoleon’s
derision, there has always been an aristocracy (made up mainly of
military freebooters, enterprising adulterers, the issue of the latter,
and, in modern times, shyster lawyers, vaudeville magnates, and the
proprietors of yellow newspapers) that has held its own against the men
of trade, even at the cost of absorbing the more pugnacious of them.
But here in this great Republic of the West the art of trafficking is
king--and Judge Gary is its grand vizier, as Cal is its chief eunuch.
No other human activity brings such great rewards in money and power,
and none is more lavishly honored. The one aim of our jurisprudence is
to safeguard business--to make its risks small and its profits sure.
If the rights of the citizen get in the way, then the rights of the
citizen must be sacrificed. Upon this point our higher courts have
delivered themselves more than once, and in eloquent, ringing terms.
Judge Gary and his friends prefer dry and dismal slaves to those who
are stewed and happy. _Also_, to hell with the Bill of Rights! They
prefer, when there is a strike, to win it rather than lose it. Out,
then, with the pad of blank injunctions! They sweat under criticism,
and shiver under attack. To the hoosegow, constable, with the
Bolsheviks!
All this, of course, was not achieved without a struggle. For years the
Constitution stood in the way--the Constitution and certain national
superstitions--the latter sprung from the blather of the Revolutionary
stump. But all those impediments are now surmounted. The bench gave
Judge Gary to business, and business has reciprocated the favor by
providing sound and sane men for the bench. To-day jurisprudence is
unfettered. When, a year or so ago, the Supreme Court finally got rid
of the Fourth Amendment, that delayed mopping up went almost unnoticed.
As I say, Judge Gary, ought to be a happy man. The sun shines upon him
from all four points of the compass. Congress, well rehearsed, plays
soft jazz for him; bishops bring him his toddy; a straw issues from the
White House and tickles him behind the ear. But never is his happiness
greater, I believe, than when his thoughts turn idly upon the subject
of labor, and he contemplates the state of the union movement in the
Federal Union.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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