Prejudices, fourth seriesMencken, H. L. (Henry Louis)
History
Prejudices, fourth series
Mencken, H. L. (Henry Louis)
American essays -- 20th century; American literature -- History and criticism; Literature -- History and criticism
But it was not only the _Todsaufer_ who was a missionary of light and a
pattern of the amenities; so also was the saloon itself. It represented
the only concept of beauty and dignity that ever entered into the lives
of many of its customers. Surrounded all day by the inconceivable
hideousness of the American workshop, and confronted on their return
from work by the depressing ugliness of homes outfitted out of
department-stores and on the instalment plan, with slatternly women and
filthy children as the fauna of the scene, they found themselves, in
the saloon, in a markedly superior milieu. Here some regard was given
to æsthetics. Here was relatively pretentious architecture. Here were
polished hardwoods, resplendent mirrors, comfortable chairs, glittering
glassware and metals, innumerable small luxuries. Here, above all, was
an attempt at genuine cleanliness. The poor saloons of the by-streets
were not to be compared, of course, to the superb drinking-rooms of
the great hotels, but they were at least much cleaner than any of
the homes or factories surrounding them, and they were at least more
beautiful than the adjacent livery-stables, cigar-stores, barber-shops
and Methodist Little Bethels. Furthermore, they set forth an example
of life upon a more urbane and charming scale. Men had to be more
polite in saloons than they were at home; if they were not, they ran
risks of colliding with the fists of their fellow patrons and with the
bartender’s Excaliburs, the bung-starter and ice-pick. The braggart and
bully here met his quick doom; the unsocial fellow felt the weight of
public disapproval; the ignoramus learned the bitter taste of sniffs
and sneers. Life was more spacious spiritually and more luxurious
physically. Instead of the nicked chinaware of his home the customer
encountered shining glass; instead of spitting out of the window or
on the floor he discharged himself into magnificent brass spittoons
or into the brook that ran under the bar-rail; instead of the ghastly
fried beefsteaks and leathery delicatessen of his wife’s cuisine,
he ate appetizing herring, delicate _Wienerwürste_, well-devised
_Kartoffelsalat_, celery, olives, and even such exotic titbits as
_Blutwurst_, _Pumpernickel_, _Bohnensalat_ and caviare.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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