"'Mademoiselle, from the exact'--he used a word here that I have
forgotten--'your yearly income amounts to the sum of three million one
hundred and twenty thousand francs, which gives you nearly eight
thousand francs a day, so you are the richest heiress in France.'
"This, my poor dear mother, reminded me again of what, alas! I scarcely
ever forget,--that I was an orphan, and alone in the world; and in spite
of all my efforts to control my feelings, I wept bitterly."
Ernestine was obliged to stop writing. Her tears had burst forth afresh,
for to this tender-hearted, artless child, this rich inheritance meant
the loss of her mother and of her father.
Becoming calmer after a few moments, she resumed her pen, and continued:
"It is difficult for me to explain it, but on learning that I had eight
thousand francs a day, as the notary said, I felt a great awe, not
unmixed with fear.
"'So much money--just for myself! why is it?' I thought.
"It seemed to me unjust.
"What had I done to be so rich?
"And then those words which had made me weep, 'You are the richest
heiress in France,' almost terrified me.
"Yes; I know not how to explain it, but the knowledge that I possessed
this immense fortune made me feel strangely uneasy. It seemed to me that
I must feel as people feel who have a great treasure, and who tremble at
the thought of the dangers they will incur if any one tries to rob them
of it.
"And yet, no; this comparison is not a just one, for I never cared very
much for the money you and my father gave me each month to gratify my
fancies.
"In fact, I seem unable to analyse my feelings when I think of my
wealth, as they call it. It is strange and inexplicable, but perhaps I
shall feel differently by and by.
"In the meantime, I am surrounded by the kindest and most devoted of
relatives. What can I have to fear? It is pure childishness on my part,
undoubtedly. But to whom can I tell everything, if not to you? M. de la
Rochaigue and the other members of his household are wonderfully kind to
me, but I shall never make confidants of them. You know I have always
been very reserved to every one but you and my father; and I often
reproach myself for not being more familiar with my good Laine, who has
been with me several years. But anything like familiarity is impossible
to me, though I am far from being proud."
Then alluding to the aversion she felt for M. de Maillefort, in
consequence of Mlle. Helena's calumnies, Ernestine added:
"I was cruelly hurt this evening, but it was such a disgraceful thing
that, out of respect to you, my dear mother, I will not write it, nor do
I really believe that I should have the courage.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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