Mrs. Macdonald was almost beside herself. She ceased to gird at any
member of the family or household; she girded at Fate instead, morning,
noon, and night. She discussed the situation in a frenzied manner, with
tears in her eyes and a large amount of gesticulation, which would have
formed an excellent object-lesson to a student for the stage; but, at
the same time, it must be owned that raving appeals to the Almighty,
passionate assertions that she was the most unlucky woman that the light
of day had ever shone upon, bitter forebodings of what her daily life
would be like when she was safely landed in the nearest workhouse, did
not avail anything. No, the Macdonald family was in for a spell of bad
luck, and all the asseverations in the world would not alter it or
gainsay it.
At this time Nancy was like a rock in the midst of a stormy sea. She,
after much self-communing, threw over her promise to her mother
concerning the time of her writing. She felt, as every true artist
feels, that it was in her to do great things; and that even a little
money earned in such a crisis would be of double value. So every moment
that she could steal from the now greatly decreased house duties she
spent in her own room, working with feverish haste and anxiety at a new
story, a story which was not about lords and ladies, or majestic
guardsmen, or lovely heroines in costly Parisian dresses; no, she felt,
all in a moment, the utter futility of trying to draw a phase of life
with which she herself was not familiar. It seemed to come to her like
a flash of light that her children of pen and ink were not real; that
she was fighting the air; that she was like an artist drawing without a
model. Like a living human voice a warning came into her mind, "Write
what you know; write what you see; before all things be an
impressionist." So her new child was slowly coming to life, a child
born in poverty and reared in a boarding-house. The form of the child
was crude, and was the work of an unpractised hand; but it was strong.
It was full of life; it was a thing alive; and as line after line came
from under her hand, as the story assumed shape and colour from under
her nervous fingers, Nancy Macdonald felt that she was on the right tack
at last, that this time she would not fail.
As soon as her story was done, she sent it with breathless hope to a
well-known weekly magazine which is almost a household word, and then
she sat down to wait. Oh! but it is weary waiting under such
circumstances. After three days of sickening suspense, Nancy decided in
her own mind that if she had to wait as many weeks she would be raving
mad at the end of them. So she locked herself in her room and began
another story, the story of a love affair which came about in just such
a house as their own.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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