College stories, American; Princeton (N.J.) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Princeton University -- Fiction
"Don't you know why I'm leaving this place? I'll tell you," he
exclaimed, excitedly; all his oratorical manner and assumed
grandiloquence was forgotten with the rest of his speech. He almost
screamed in his natural voice, "I'll tell you, I HATE you--all, every
one." He swept his hand wildly around the circle, "From the oldest,
gray-haired D.D. to those two conceited young assistants, you cold,
intellectual, cultured, bloodless, unemotional, self-satisfied
creatures--I HATE YOU. Of course _you_ don't care; you won't lose
anything by my hate." He paused a moment, buttoned up his little coat
and began again, the words pouring out of themselves: "I know I'm
nobody; I know I'm not attractive, or cultured, but I'm a human
being--if I'm not from New England--and I have a human heart. I have
been here a whole month, and in that time what one of you has made a
friendly advance?--has spoken a word of encouragement?--has even
taken note of my existence, except as a machine paid to do a certain
amount of work? I found that out that first day in chapel when your
President told you all of the bargain he had made. He assured you that
you were not cheated, as the article rented had had a good standing in
his class. I wondered at the time he did not, in naming my good points
like a horse, mention my college instead of saying _a good Eastern
college_--that's what I can't stand. I could endure the treatment of
myself, but those slurs on my college I cannot and will not stand.
Stop! Don't get excited; don't try to explain anything. You don't want
me to go, because you think you have a good, hard-working horse. You
think to detain me by informing me of my poverty. That might do,
but--but read that!" He snatched from his pocket the letter he had
received that morning.
"_Read that!_" and he started toward the desk with the letter in his
hand. But the strain was too much for the little tutor. He fainted for
the first time in his life.
* * * * *
He never found out whether they read the letter or not. Of course, he
could have ascertained by writing out there, but he never did.
Indeed, he did not like to think of that time now, though he did love
to take out a certain letter with a printed head at the top and read
the formal language which stated briefly how that, owing to the fact
that Mr. Charles Benjamin Howard had decided, etc., "the fellowship
in, etc., was open to Horatio B. Stacy as being, etc., and that it was
with a great deal of pleasure"--but he knew it all by heart, because
he had intended to repeat it once on a certain awful occasion when he
was, he thought, temporarily insane, at least not Horatio B. Stacy.
COLLEGE MEN
"Johnnie, Johnnie, Dagnan,
Johnnie, Johnnie, Dagnan,
Do you want me?
No, sir-r-ee,
Not this afternoon, 'ternoon, 'ternoon, 'ternoon."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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