Prisoners: Fast Bound In Misery And IronCholmondeley, Mary
General
Prisoners: Fast Bound In Misery And Iron
Cholmondeley, Mary
Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
"His imprisonment has changed his nature, that is what it is. He went in
alive, and he has come out dead. He has ceased to care for anything or
anyone. He has been killed by inches. He was so affectionate as a boy. I
was father and mother to him. He used to trot after me like a little
dog. And if anyone had his whole confidence I had. I was everything to
him. My one fear of marrying has always been that he might feel pained
at seeing another person first with me." (Wentworth had never had this
altruistic misgiving, but he stated it with conviction.) "But now he is
not the same. I suppose he still has some affection for me. He shows it
sometimes by a kind of effort. He seemed to wake up a bit after you came
over, Fay. I think he had a sort of glimpse from things I said to him of
what love can be, and just for a moment he was more like his old self,
and appeared to enter into my feelings. But he soon sank back again. As
often as not he seems to shrink from any real conversation. We sometimes
sit whole evenings together without speaking. He does not really want me
any more, or anyone. He talked at first a little about the Italian
doctor, but he never mentions him now. And as for my marriage, as for
being distressed by my caring for someone else," resentfully, "he is
absolutely indifferent. You would think that Fay and I, the two people
of all others who have done most for him, who have grieved most over
him, who have shown him most affection, were nothing to him."
There was a ghastly silence.
"I don't blame him," said Wentworth with something nearer passion than
he had ever experienced before, in which even his petty jealousy was
momentarily extinguished. "At least, I can't look at him and remain
angry with him. It breaks my heart to see him like this, so callous, so
regardless of all I have suffered on his account. I don't blame him. He
is not himself. His brain is weakened by his poor body. No. The person I
do blame is that accursed woman who allowed him to suffer for her, who
skulked behind him for two endless years, who let him sacrifice his life
for hers, who never had the courage to say the word, and take her crime
upon herself, and get him out of his living grave."
Fay became cold as death in the May sunshine. What ghost was this which
was taking form before her? What voice was this, how could it be
Wentworth's voice, which was saying at last aloud with passion what that
other accusing voice within had so hoarsely, so persistently whispered
from its cell, during the long years? Her brain reeled.
"The Marchesa did repent," said Magdalen.
Wentworth laughed harshly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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