‘I have told you already. I know I shall have property,’ said Helena,
trying to speak with lofty indifference, but all the same, not unaware
that the young man’s eyes were fixed upon her face, and with her own
wavering as she went on with the speech which she had uttered many a
time before, and which now struck her for the first time as falling
somewhat flat, and not being quite equal to the occasion. Other young
men had looked at her, and said they were sure she didn’t mean it,
and it was too cruel of her, and other ‘vacant chaff’ of the same
description. Sebastian only looked at her gravely, calmly, as it seemed
to her, almost pityingly, and in perfect silence.
The glance stung and galled her. She would not be deterred by that
look. What was Sebastian Mallory but a man--a thoughtless young man,
who had dared to laugh at her views?
‘And property entails responsibilities,’ she continued.
‘It certainly does.’
‘I shall therefore never marry,’ said Helena, courageously, though her
face burned, and she wished intensely that she had never insisted upon
the discussion. ‘I shall look after my own affairs, and arrange them
according to my own judgment. I will be free, and nobody’s servant.’
‘A very wise resolution; provided, first, that you keep it; and second,
that you feel equal to disposing judiciously of a large property.’
‘I have no doubt about _that_,’ said she, with a lofty smile, still not
raising her eyes, and very angry with herself for not being able to do
so.
Sebastian smiled, and the smile made Helena feel hot and uncomfortable.
‘I hope,’ said he, with extreme politeness, ‘that you will feel the
satisfaction which should be the reward of such high motives.’
Helena flushed again. She had argued the point more than once with
different people, and without this feeling of embarrassment. Why was
she embarrassed now? What would that ‘nicest girl’ he ever knew think,
if she were here? Had she money? He had said she had been brought up
in the school of adversity. That reminded Helena of another point in
the argument, which she ought to have advanced long ago. She was dimly
conscious of a kind of bathos as she said, ‘I don’t believe in useless
fine ladies, you know, all the same. I think women ought to be able to
earn their own living, if necessary. They ought to be able to be quite
independent of men, if they choose.’
‘Do you think they ever would choose?’ he asked with a suppressed smile.
‘I know this, that I would rather earn fourpence a day as a
needle-woman, than depend upon any man!’ said Helena, hotly and
indignantly. ‘And I could always do that.’
‘In that case I congratulate you,’ he retorted ironically. ‘You are
superior to all calamities and misfortunes. I wish I could feel myself
equally secure.’
‘You have not argued a single point,’ said Helena with passion. ‘I
shall never be at the trouble to talk seriously to you again.’
‘If you will only talk to me at all, I shall be delighted.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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