‘If she cares for us, and is worth anything, she will come--she will
come, if it is only to see Mary. By this I shall know her. If she comes
I’ll keep quiet, and try to be satisfied with her--friendship. And if
she does not come--I’ll hate her; no, I’ll think no more of her--I’ll
forget her, and rid myself of this plague that has been with me ever
since I knew her.’
Adrienne did not come; days and weeks went by, and she came not,
and Myles did not hate her; he did not cease to think of her. His
‘plague’ tormented him more grievously than ever, and his life was
miserable. His days were long; there was only half the usual work to
fill them. The weary afternoons and evenings were unutterably long.
He sat at home with his books open before him, or he took his way to
the reading-room, and sat with more books open before him, and stared
at them, and knew nothing about what was in them, while the chimes
played ‘Life let us cherish!’ and Myles thought of the hundreds, now
daily augmenting, dwelling in the houses beneath those chimes, to whom,
in their destitution, the tune must have seemed a sort of melodious
mockery. ‘Life let us cherish!’ while the men across the Atlantic
were locked in the deadly grip of war, and the cotton manufacture in
England was coming steadily, surely to a stand-still. A few more throbs
of its mighty pulse--a few more desperate struggles to break through
the paralysis that was creeping over it, and then the iron lungs, the
great throbbing heart of it, its huge limbs, its vast arteries, would
be quiescent--for who should venture to say how long? It was a deadly
prospect.
With these various causes of distress gnawing perseveringly at his
heart, the young man might well be silent, as he set his teeth against
the wind, and stooped his head to shield his face from the rain.
While Mary, on her side, had cause enough and to spare of unhappiness.
The poor girl’s heart was full to bursting of a dread fear that she had
had for many weeks now, and concerning which she had not breathed a
word to any one.
‘That it should ha’ begun just now!’ she thought to herself; ‘just when
times is hard, and work is short, and I can none get him all he should
have.’
She kept up a brave face; worked out her daily task at her looms, and
her much harder, heart-breaking task at home; had caresses, and smiles,
and tender words for Edmund, and a good face to turn to poor Myles, in
his gloom, which oppressed her faithful heart like a chill hand laid
upon it. She had her meed of consolation for Harry Ashworth, who said
he was growing deafer and deafer. She had her own private astonishment
at Adrienne’s long absence, but no thought that Adrienne meant any
slight or ill-will to her or hers.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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