The time went on; whether long or short he could not tell. He did not
keep count of the minutes or hours. His whole consciousness seemed to
resolve itself into a desire to be gone, which had grown overpowering
and intense, when a quick tap at the door was heard, then it was
opened, and Sebastian’s voice said,
‘I say, Hugo, do you mean to go to this entertainment or not? Because
if--why, what _is_ the matter with you?’
‘I never knew, Sebastian! Upon my soul and honour I never knew
till Mrs. Mallory told me to-day!’ exclaimed Hugo, starting up and
confronting his horrified friend, with pale face, scintillating eyes,
which bore traces of recent weeping, hair wildly tossed up and down his
head, and generally demoralised aspect.
‘Didn’t know _what_, my dear fellow? What is all this excitement about?’
‘Mrs. Mallory told me, just a little while ago, the _truth_ about
myself,’ said Hugo, speaking rapidly and vehemently in German, as he
nearly always did when agitated, and he began to stride excitedly about
the room. ‘It was not right ... no, no! it was very cruel! you should
not have done it. I have no right to reproach you, but you should
not have laid such a burden upon me--a burden which is greater than
I can bear ... _aber, Gott im Himmel_! what do I mean by reproaching
you, when I owe you the very bread I eat, the very clothes I wear!
Sebastian! Sebastian! It was not _right_!’ he reiterated passionately,
coming to a stop, and standing before the other, upon whose mind the
truth began to dawn.
His mother had played the traitor--had betrayed the trust which he
had been weak enough to repose in her before he had understood her
so well as he did now, and the result must be, in any case, a very
painful explanation, and perhaps failure to convince Hugo; perhaps
the alienation of a love which he prized more highly at this present
moment than he ever had done before. For the moment, the first moment,
his heart sank very low: he suddenly seemed to see everything that he
most prized deserting him. Adrienne was lost to him, and his heart
was yet smarting under that conviction. Yesterday he had seen Myles
Heywood depart, expressing his gratitude, but, as he felt, unconquered,
untouched at heart. Now, here was Hugo bitterly reproaching him for
not having done what was right towards him. One stroke coming upon the
other almost unmanned him momentarily, for the men with warm hearts and
cool heads are necessarily more susceptible both to failure and success
than the men with cool heads and cold hearts to boot.
Then he suddenly gathered himself together. Hugo was not gone; he was
only drifting away from him. He would make a very strong struggle to
still hold him fast to him; if he succeeded, he might take it as a good
omen for the future--if not, the future must look after itself. He came
into the room and closed the door.
‘You startle me, Hugo. This is something I did not expect. Suppose you
tell me all about it, and we can discuss it. Shall we?’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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