Problematic Characters: A NovelSpielhagen, Friedrich
General
Problematic Characters: A Novel
Spielhagen, Friedrich
Fiction
"Dottore, dottore!" he said, "you look as if you suffered excruciating
pain from the grog which I have drunk last night. Upon my word, you
disgrace the weather! Did you ever sit, as a boy, in a garret window,
sending from a short clay pipe beautiful soap-bubbles into the bright
air, while down stairs among the leaden soldiers a half-finished
exercise was lying, which was to earn you, a few hours later, a sound
whipping on the part of your teacher? You see, that is a picture of
life. Our knowledge is a half-finished exercise, and our best exercises
remain fragments; the most brilliant soap-bubbles will burst, and the
hardest whipping is forgotten in an hour or two. All is vanity, but
especially our regret that all is vanity! Why? I did not make the
world, and, as far as I know, you did not make it Why, then, should we
two rack our brains about it? I rack my brains about nothing, for
instance, not even about this line, which I have evidently made too
short, and which I must now at random extend gracefully till it meets
this angle--by the by, a most romantic corner of the wood, where I met
a most charming little red-cheeked peasant girl, who, no doubt, is the
cause of my mistake. Well, no matter! The account does not always
tally, why else should we have fractions, and the Grenwitz entail
remains, for all that, a very beautiful invention, especially for that
poor boy Malte. Is the boy really as stupid as he looks?"
"By no means," replied Oswald, who shared the little sofa in the room
with a tin box for dried plants, from which a stocking of blue yarn was
bashfully peeping forth. "Malte can count up to five, and considerably
beyond. He has a decided talent for many things, especially for
arithmetic, while Bruno, who lacks that talent, remains a long way
behind him."
"Yes, Providence is wise," said Albert, preparing his sepia within a
little porcelain vessel; "it gives to him who is to eat turtle-soup in
life, a gold spoon at his birth, and he to whom she doles out the
ship-biscuit of poverty receives kindly a number of hollow teeth, so
that he need not be long annoyed by his hard fare. I, for my part,
received by mistake a set of excellent teeth, and thus I relish my
hard-tack prodigiously,--so much, in fact, that I can never feel very
angry at these empty-headed, thick-bellied children of my step-mother
Nature, who are eating turtle-soup with gold spoons, and are thoroughly
spoilt in the bargain. But one thing I should like, and that is, if
there should turn up a claimant to the codicil in the last will of
Baron Harald, who died in delirium tremens, and no doubt now sleeps in
the bosom of Father Abraham."
"Then you know the sad story?" asked Oswald.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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