Problematic Characters: A NovelSpielhagen, Friedrich
General
Problematic Characters: A Novel
Spielhagen, Friedrich
Fiction
"The night is cool," said Oswald, rising; "the dew begins to fall; you
will take cold in your light dress. May I have the honor to take you
back to the house?"
"Oh my God! my God!" murmured Emily; "I cannot endure this! Oswald, do
not treat me thus! How I have longed for this moment! How I have
repeated to myself a thousand times all I would say to you. How I hoped
you would again take me in your arms as ... oh God! what am I saying?
Oswald, have pity on me! You cannot wish to punish my thoughtlessness
of this evening so cruelly! I only wanted to tease you a little. I
thought every moment you would come up and tell me,--but you did not
come, and I had to keep up the comedy, _bon gré, mal gré_."
"Are you quite sure, Miss Emily, you are not playing comedy at this
very moment?"
Emily made no reply. She sank with a groan upon the bench; she pressed
her face in her hands, and sobbed as if her heart were breaking.
Oswald was not one of those men who can see a woman weep unmoved. He
stepped close up to the unfortunate girl and said:
"Will you listen to me calmly a few moments?"
Emily's only answer was a violent sobbing.
"Believe me," Oswald continued, "I am heartily sorry for you; that such
a scene should at all have been possible; and I feel that I, and I
alone, am to blame for it. If I had told you that night what I must
tell you to-day, your pride would long since have made an end to the
matter.--I cannot love you. That sounds very strange, spoken to a woman
of such loveliness and sweetness, but it is nevertheless true. Why then
will you waste your love on one who shows himself so utterly unworthy
of such a precious gift? Why not render somebody happy by it, who has
more talent for being happy and for making others happy?--I am just now
so low-spirited that I am more than usually incapable of looking at men
and things in the right light. Pardon me, therefore, if I have offended
you just now by my bitter words. I had no right to use them; it was
thoughtless in me; I blame myself for them. I pray, I beseech you,
forget all that has happened between us! And do not allow this
mortification to lead you to sudden resolves, which you may and will
regret hereafter. You see what it is to bestow your affections upon an
unworthy person. If this cruel experience should aid you in the
selection which you will sooner or later make, I am willing to endure
for the moment your hatred and even your contempt."
Emily had, while Oswald spoke, gradually ceased to weep. Now she rose
and said, in an almost calm voice:
"Quite enough! I thank you. You have opened my eyes. You shall never be
troubled again, as far as I am concerned. Tell me only this one thing:
Am I victimized for the sake of another? Do you love another person?"
"Yes!" said Oswald, after a little hesitation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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