‘Does it not raise strange longings in you,’ said Claude, ‘to gaze out
yonder over the infinite calm, and then to remember that beyond it lies
America!—the new world; the future world; the great Titan-baby, who will
be teeming with new Athens and Londons, with new Bacons and Shakspeares,
Newtons and Goethes, when this old worn-out island will be—what? Oh!
when I look out here, like a bird from its cage, a captive from his
dungeon, and remember what lies behind me, to what I must return
to-morrow—the over-peopled Babylon of misery and misrule, puffery and
covetousness—and there before me great countries untilled, uncivilized,
unchristianized, crying aloud for man to come and be man indeed, and
replenish the earth and subdue it. “Oh that I had wings as a dove, then
would I flee away and be at rest!” Here, lead me away; my body is
growing as dizzy as my mind. I feel coming over me that horrible longing
of which I have heard, to leap out into empty space. How the blank air
whispers, “Be free!” How the broad sea smiles, and calls, with its ten
thousand waves, “Be free!”—As I live, if you do not take me away I shall
throw myself over the cliff.’
I did take him away, for I knew the sensation and its danger well. It
has nothing to do with physical giddiness. Those who are cliff-bred, and
who never were giddy for an instant in their lives, have often felt
themselves impelled to leap from masts, and tree-tops, and cliffs; and
nothing but the most violent effort of will could break the fascination.
I cannot but think, by the bye, that many a puzzling suicide might be
traced to this same emotion acting on a weak and morbid brain.
We returned to the little landing cove. The red-sailed cutter lay
sleeping below us—‘floating double, ship and shadow.’ Shoals of
innumerable mackerel broke up, making acres of water foam and sparkle
round their silvery sides, with a soft roar (call it ‘a bull’ if you
like, it is the only expression for that mysterious sound), while among
them the black head of a huge seal was slowly and silently appearing and
vanishing, as he got his dinner, in a quiet business-like way, among the
unhappy wanderers.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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