Psmith in the CityWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Psmith in the City
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
Mike flung himself down on the turf with mixed feelings. He was sorry
Joe was out, but he was very glad indeed of the chance of a rest. He
was utterly fagged. A half-day match once a week is no training for
first-class cricket. Joe, who had been playing all the season, was as
tough as india-rubber, and trotted into the pavilion as fresh as if he
had been having a brief spell at the nets. Mike, on the other hand,
felt that he simply wanted to be dropped into a cold bath and left
there indefinitely. There was only another half-hour's play, but he
doubted if he could get through it.
He dragged himself up wearily as Joe's successor arrived at the
wickets. He had crossed Joe before the latter's downfall, and it was
his turn to take the bowling.
Something seemed to have gone out of him. He could not time the ball
properly. The last ball of the over looked like a half-volley, and he
hit out at it. But it was just short of a half-volley, and his stroke
arrived too soon. The bowler, running in the direction of mid-on,
brought off an easy c.-and-b.
Mike turned away towards the pavilion. He heard the gradually swelling
applause in a sort of dream. It seemed to him hours before he reached
the dressing-room.
He was sitting on a chair, wishing that somebody would come along and
take off his pads, when Psmith's card was brought to him. A few moments
later the old Etonian appeared in person.
'Hullo, Smith,' said Mike, 'By Jove! I'm done.'
'"How Little Willie Saved the Match,"' said Psmith. 'What you want is
one of those gin and ginger-beers we hear so much about. Remove those
pads, and let us flit downstairs in search of a couple. Well, Comrade
Jackson, you have fought the good fight this day. My father sends his
compliments. He is dining out, or he would have come up. He is going to
look in at the flat latish.'
'How many did I get?' asked Mike. 'I was so jolly done I didn't think
of looking.'
'A hundred and forty-eight of the best,' said Psmith. 'What will they
say at the old homestead about this? Are you ready? Then let us test
this fruity old ginger-beer of theirs.'
The two batsmen who had followed the big stand were apparently having a
little stand all of their own. No more wickets fell before the drawing
of stumps. Psmith waited for Mike while he changed, and carried him off
in a cab to Simpson's, a restaurant which, as he justly observed,
offered two great advantages, namely, that you need not dress, and,
secondly, that you paid your half-crown, and were then at liberty to
eat till you were helpless, if you felt so disposed, without extra
charge.
Mike stopped short of this giddy height of mastication, but consumed
enough to make him feel a great deal better. Psmith eyed his inroads on
the menu with approval.
'There is nothing,' he said, 'like victualling up before an ordeal.'
'What's the ordeal?' said Mike.
'I propose to take you round to the club anon, where I trust we shall
find Comrade Bickersdyke. We have much to say to one another.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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