Psmith, JournalistWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Psmith, Journalist
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
Billy was about to speak, but Psmith suddenly held up his hand
warningly. From the room below came a sound of feet.
For a moment the silence was tense. Then from Mr. Gooch's lips
there escaped a screech.
"This way! They're up--"
The words were cut short as Billy banged his hand over the
speaker's mouth. But the thing was done.
"On top de roof," cried a voice. "Dey've beaten it for de roof."
The chair rasped over the floor. Feet shuffled. And then, like a
jack-in-the-box, there popped through the opening a head and
shoulders.
CHAPTER XXI
THE BATTLE OF PLEASANT STREET
The new arrival was a young man with a shock of red hair, an
ingrowing Roman nose, and a mouth from which force or the passage
of time had removed three front teeth. He held on to the edges of
the trap with his hands, and stared in a glassy manner into
Psmith's face, which was within a foot of his own.
There was a momentary pause, broken by an oath from Mr. Gooch, who
was still undergoing treatment in the background.
"Aha!" said Psmith genially. "Historic picture. 'Doctor Cook
discovers the North Pole.'"
The red-headed young man blinked. The strong light of the open air
was trying to his eyes.
"Youse had better come down," he observed coldly. "We've got
youse."
"And," continued Psmith, unmoved, "is instantly handed a gum-drop
by his faithful Esquimaux."
As he spoke, he brought the stick down on the knuckles which
disfigured the edges of the trap. The intruder uttered a howl and
dropped out of sight. In the room below there were whisperings and
mutterings, growing gradually louder till something resembling
coherent conversation came to Psmith's ears, as he knelt by the
trap making meditative billiard-shots with the stick at a small
pebble.
"Aw g'wan! Don't be a quitter!"
"Who's a quitter?"
"Youse is a quitter. Get on top de roof. He can't hoit youse."
"De guy's gotten a big stick." Psmith nodded appreciatively. "I
and Roosevelt," he murmured.
A somewhat baffled silence on the part of the attacking force was
followed by further conversation.
"Gum! some guy's got to go up." Murmur of assent from the audience.
A voice, in inspired tones: "Let Sam do it!"
This suggestion made a hit. There was no doubt about that. It was a
success from the start. Quite a little chorus of voices expressed
sincere approval of the very happy solution to what had seemed an
insoluble problem. Psmith, listening from above, failed to detect
in the choir of glad voices one that might belong to Sam himself.
Probably gratification had rendered the chosen one dumb.
"Yes, let Sam do it!" cried the unseen chorus. The first speaker,
unnecessarily, perhaps--for the motion had been carried almost
unanimously--but possibly with the idea of convincing the one
member of the party in whose bosom doubts might conceivably be
harboured, went on to adduce reasons.
"Sam bein' a coon," he argued, "ain't goin' to git hoit by no
stick. Youse can't hoit a coon by soakin' him on de coco, can you,
Sam?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account