Psmith, JournalistWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Psmith, Journalist
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
"Are you listening till you feel that your ears are the size of
footballs? Then drink this in. For weeks you have been praying for
a chance to show your devotion to the great cause; or if you
haven't, you ought to have been. That chance has come. You alone
can save us. In a sense, of course, we do not need to be saved.
They will find it hard to get at us, I fancy, on the roof. But it
ill befits the dignity of the editorial staff of a great New York
weekly to roost like pigeons for any length of time; and
consequently it is up to you."
"Shall I go for de cops, Mr. Smith?"
"No, Comrade Maloney, I thank you. I have seen the cops in action,
and they did not impress me. We do not want allies who will merely
shake their heads at Comrade Repetto and the others, however
sternly. We want some one who will swoop down upon these merry
roisterers, and, as it were, soak to them good. Do you know where
Dude Dawson lives?"
The light of intelligence began to shine in Master Maloney's face.
His eye glistened with respectful approval. This was strategy of
the right sort.
"Dude Dawson? Nope. But I can ask around."
"Do so, Comrade Maloney. And when found, tell him that his old
college chum, Spider Reilly, is here. He will not be able to come
himself, I fear, but he can send representatives."
"Sure."
"That's all, then. Go downstairs with a gay and jaunty air, as if
you had no connection with the old firm at all. Whistle a few
lively bars. Make careless gestures. Thus shall you win through.
And now it would be no bad idea, I fancy, for me to join the rest
of the brains of the paper up aloft. Off you go, Comrade Maloney.
And, in passing, don't take a week about it. Leg it with all the
speed you possess."
Pugsy vanished, and Psmith closed the door behind him. Inspection
revealed the fact that it possessed no lock. As a barrier it was
useless. He left it ajar, and, jumping up, gripped the edge of the
opening in the roof and pulled himself through.
Billy Windsor was seated comfortably on Mr. Gooch's chest a few
feet away. By his side was his big stick. Psmith possessed himself
of this, and looked about him. The examination was satisfactory.
The trap-door appeared to be the only means of access to the roof,
and between their roof and that of the next house there was a broad
gulf.
"Practically impregnable," he murmured. "Only one thing can dish
us, Comrade Windsor; and that is if they have the sense to get on
to the roof next door and start shooting. Even in that case,
however, we have cover in the shape of the chimneys. I think we
may fairly say that all is well. How are you getting along? Has the
patient responded at all?"
"Not yet," said Billy. "But he's going to."
"He will be in your charge. I must devote myself exclusively to
guarding the bridge. It is a pity that the trap has not got a bolt
this side. If it had, the thing would be a perfect picnic. As it
is, we must leave it open. But we mustn't expect everything."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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