A genuine love match in both cases. But the genuineness of love did
not prevent a catastrophe in one case and will probably bring about a
catastrophe in the other case as well.
In both cases, the men are probably normal and yielding to the very
natural attraction of youth combined with beauty and refinement.
Both women, however, are abnormal, altho one of them, the runaway wife,
may have regained her normality and awakened from her absurd dream.
Both are, or were, the victims of a fixation of the most acute type, on
the father image indicating a morbid neurotic disposition.
Such unions can hardly ever hold out any promise of lasting happiness.
=The Case of Wagner.= There is, of course, the famous example of Wagner
who, at fifty-seven carried off the beautiful wife of Hans von Bülow,
almost thirty years his junior, and lived happily with her until his
death. But Wagner was at the time a marvelous example of physical and
mental activity, energy and creative power. In no way, barring his
facial appearance, could he suggest age or decay to his young wife. He
remained to the last a romantic figure.
The glamor, however, which may surround a successful composer with a
picturesque past, is not likely to dazzle in any way the bride of a
riding master or of a New England manufacturer.
=A Parent Fixation=, as I explained in the chapters on the Family
Romance and on Incest, is the more acute as it drives its victim to
seek a closer duplicate of the parent type.
The man who seeks a woman for his mate because his mother was a woman
is influenced by the most normal and biologically valuable of mother
fixations. The race would come to an end but for that form of fixation.
The son of a blonde mother who cannot love a woman unless she is also
a blonde, is less normal and less free in his choice of a mate than
the preceding type. He is inhibited by childhood memories, but then,
education and civilisation are little more than inhibitions caused by
childhood memories. That type simply marries in "his set" and can lead
an otherwise very normal life.
He, however, who is irresistibly attracted by a woman exactly like his
mother, not only as far as appearance, but also as far as age goes,
is a childish, regressive neurotic, seeking the safety of childhood
conditions and obsessed at times by unconscious incestuous cravings.
=The Rock of Physical Incompatibility= is often one on which such
adventures are shipwrecked. A very young woman, ignorant of the sex
life and its problems, unable to realise its meaning before marriage,
may develop immediately after her union to an elderly man a very
passionate temperament.
Either she will repress her cravings for physical love, which her too
mature mate is unable to gratify, and she will develop anxiety states
or hysteria.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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