Under the head of =spiritual self-seeking= ought to be included every
impulse towards psychic progress, whether intellectual, moral, or
spiritual in the narrow sense of the term. It must be admitted, however,
that much that commonly passes for spiritual self-seeking in this narrow
sense is only material and social self-seeking beyond the grave. In the
Mohammedan desire for paradise and the Christian aspiration not to be
damned in hell, the materiality of the goods sought is undisguised. In
the more positive and refined view of heaven, many of its goods, the
fellowship of the saints and of our dead ones, and the presence of God,
are but social goods of the most exalted kind. It is only the search of
the redeemed inward nature, the spotlessness from sin, whether here or
hereafter, that can count as spiritual self-seeking pure and undefiled.
But this broad external review of the facts of the life of the Me will
be incomplete without some account of the
=Rivalry and Conflict of the Different Mes.=--With most objects of desire,
physical nature restricts our choice to but one of many represented
goods, and even so it is here. I am often confronted by the necessity of
standing by one of my empirical selves and relinquishing the rest. Not
that I would not, if I could, be both handsome and fat and well dressed,
and a great athlete, and make a million a year, be a wit, a
_bon-vivant_, and a lady-killer, as well as a philosopher; a
philanthropist, statesman, warrior, and African explorer, as well as a
'tone-poet' and saint. But the thing is simply impossible. The
millionaire's work would run counter to the saint's; the _bon-vivant_
and the philanthropist would trip each other up; the philosopher and the
lady-killer could not well keep house in the same tenement of clay. Such
different characters may conceivably at the outset of life be alike
_possible_ to a man. But to make any one of them actual, the rest must
more or less be suppressed. So the seeker of his truest, strongest,
deepest self must review the list carefully, and pick out the one on
which to stake his salvation. All other selves thereupon become unreal,
but the fortunes of this self are real. Its failures are real failures,
its triumphs real triumphs, carrying shame and gladness with them. This
is as strong an example as there is of that selective industry of the
mind on which I insisted some pages back (p. 173 ff.). Our thought,
incessantly deciding, among many things of a kind, which ones for it
shall be realities, here chooses one of many possible selves or
characters, and forthwith reckons it no shame to fail in any of those
not adopted expressly as its own.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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