Association of ideas; Memory; Paragrammatism; Psychoanalysis; Psychology, Pathological; Repression (Psychology)
In latter years, since I have been collecting such observations, it
has happened several times that I have shattered and broken objects of
some value, but the examination of these cases convinced me that it
was never the result of accident or of my unintentional awkwardness.
Thus, one morning while in my bath-robe and straw slippers I followed a
sudden impulse as I passed a room, and hurled a slipper from my foot
against the wall so that it brought down a beautiful little marble
Venus from its bracket. As it fell to pieces I recited quite unmoved
the following verse from Busch:--
“Ach! Die Venus ist perdü--[47]
Klickeradoms!--von Medici!”
This crazy action and my calmness at the sight of the damage is
explained in the then existing situation. We had a very sick person in
the family, of whose recovery I had personally despaired. That morning
I had been informed that there was a great improvement; I know that I
had said to myself, “After all she will live.” My attack of destructive
madness served therefore as the expression of a grateful feeling
toward fate, and afforded me the opportunity of performing an “act
of sacrifice,” just as if I had vowed, “If she gets well I will give
this or that as a sacrifice.” That I chose the Venus of Medici as this
sacrifice was only gallant homage to the convalescent. But even to-day
it is still incomprehensible to me that I decided so quickly, aimed so
accurately, and struck no other object in close proximity.
Another breaking, in which I utilized a pen-holder falling from
my hand, also signified a sacrifice, but this time it was a pious
offering to avert some evil. I had once allowed myself to reproach a
true and worthy friend for no other reason than certain manifestations
which I interpreted from his unconscious activity. He took it amiss
and wrote me a letter in which he bade me not to treat my friends by
psychoanalysis. I had to admit that he was right and appeased him
with my answer. While writing this letter I had before me my latest
acquisition--a small, handsome glazed Egyptian figure. I broke it in
the manner mentioned, and then immediately knew that I had caused this
mischief to avert a greater one. Luckily, both the friendship and the
figure could be so cemented that the break would not be noticed.
A third case of breaking had a less serious connection; it was only a
disguised “execution,” to use an expression from Th. Vischer’s _Auch
Einer_, of an object that no longer suited my taste. For quite a while
I had carried a cane with a silver handle; through no fault of mine the
thin silver plate was once damaged and poorly repaired. Soon after the
cane was returned I mirthfully used the handle to angle for the leg of
one of my children. In that way it naturally broke, and I got rid of it.
The indifference with which we accept the resulting damage in all
these cases may certainly be taken as evidence for the existence of an
unconscious purpose in their execution.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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