Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, CompleteVarious
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Mr. T.C. always has at command smiles for satire, simpers for repartee,
sniggers for conundrums, titters for puns, and guffaws for jocular
anecdotes. By Mr. T.C.s system, cues for laughter are rendered
unnecessary, as, from a long course of practical experience, the moment
of cachinnation is always judiciously selected.
N.B. The worst Jokes laughed at, and rendered successful. Old Joes made
to tell as well as new.
COMIC CREDENTIALS. T.R.C.G.
Sir,I feel myself bound in justice to you and your invaluable laughter,
as well as to others who may be suffering, as I have been, with a weakly
farce, to inform you of its extraordinary results in my case. My
bantling was given up by all the faculty, when you were happily shown
into the boxes. One laugh removed all sibillatory indications; a second
application of your invaluable cachinnation elicited slight applause;
whilst a third, in the form of a guffaw, rendered it perfectly
successful.
From the prevalence of dulness among dramatic writers, I have no doubt
that your services will be in general requisition.
I am, yours, very respectfully, J.R. Planche. C C.
Sir,I beg to inform you, for the good of other bad jokers, that I deem
the introduction of your truly valuable cachinnation one of the most
important ever made; in proof of which, allow me to state, that after a
joke of mine had proved a failure for weeks, I was induced to try your
cachinnation, by the use of which it met with unequivocal success; and,
I declare, if the cost were five guineas a guffaw, I would not be
without it.
Yours truly, Charles Delaet Waldo Sibthorp (Colonel).
MY NAMES THE DOCTOR(vide Peels Speech at Tamworth.) The two
doctors, Peel and Russell, who have been so long engaged in renovating
John Bulls glorious constitution! though they both adopt the lowering
system at present, differ as to the form of practice to be pursued.
Russell still strenuously advocates his purge, while Sir Robert insists
upon the efficacy of bleeding.
Who shall decide when doctors disagree?
[pg 41] PUNCHS INFORMATION FOR THE PEOPLE.NO. 1. BEING A VERY FAMILIAR
TREATISE ON ASTRONOMY. Our opinion is, that science cannot be too
familiarly dealt with; and though too much familiarity certainly breeds
contempt, we are only following the fashion of the day, in rendering
science somewhat contemptible, by the strange liberties that publishers
of Penny Cyclopædias, three-halfpenny Informations, and twopenny Stores
of Knowledge, are prone to take with it.
In order to show that we intend going at high game, we shall begin with
the stars; and if we do not succeed in levelling the heavens to the very
meanest capacityeven to that of
A squalling child punches its mother. AN INFANT IN ARMS
we shall at once give up all claims to the title of an enlightener of
the people.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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